Friday, 28 July 2017

brake and turn when you can

When we are too busy and engrossed with worldly affairs, we forget the real reason of delving into it in the first place. If the reason is one thing and the result is the other, then maybe it is time to put a stop to it. Coz then nothing can be achieved. Nothing is better than losing our sole purpose in life; which is of course to be happy and to ensure that our family is just as happy. When one of them is not, then put a brake at what you do, reassess the situation and turn the wheel. It is never too late to make changes in life. But it will be too late when the people you love do not look at you the same way anymore. Or maybe they have adjusted and adapted to their new life. No point complaining then.

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Nak sihat kena makan produk mana ye?


Pernah tak ada doktor yang suruh kita beli apa-apa produk untuk menyembuhkan 1001 penyakit? Pernah tak ada doktor yang suruh kita beli macam-macam jenis vitamin untuk menghindari 1001 penyakit? TAKDE kan? sebab apa yang doktor nasihat adalah, KALAU NAK SIHAT, makan la sayur-sayuran, makan makanan seimbang, bersenam setiap hari, elakkan melakukan perbuatan yang membahayakan kesihatan seperti merokok dan mengambil dadah dan menguruskan badan bagi mereka yang terlebih berat badan.

THERE IS NO WAY that one medicine can cure or prevent 20 different penyakit. Kalau ada, percayalah, Kementerian Kesihatan dah beli lama dah dan bagi free pada rakyat jelata! 


Dan kalau hari-hari makan cukup, perlu ke supplemen2 ni.. kalau duduk kat africa tu dan kurang nutrisi, maybe perlu lah supplemen. tapi kita ni kat malaysia...agak2 la nak  ambil supplemen macam2 yang unnecessary ni.. even nasi dan susu kita semua dah di campur dengan macam2 vitamin dan bahan2 supplemen yang diperlukan oleh badan..

Bagi saya, BERDOSA SANGAT BESAR jika kita menipu orang lain dengan menyuapkan mereka dengan ilmu-ilmu yang salah, fitnah dan tiada kebenarannya. Berdosa sangat besar jika kita hanya menerima sesuatu maklumat itu tanpa melihat buktinya dahulu dan terus menyebarkannya pada mereka yang sama-sama tidak mengetahui. No i am not talking about spreading some video over the internet, but i am talking about people who sell things and feeding customers with false information.

Kalau nak makan MAKANAN SUNNAH, makan je lah buah-buahan itu, Kalau nak makan madu dan mendapat khasiatnya, makan je lah madu seasli-asli nya. Bile kita makan jus A + jus B yang dah duduk dalam botol selama beberapa bulan di rak di Supermarket atau kaunter di restoran tu, maka pastinya tiada lagi istilah ASLI atau BEBAS DARI benda2 lain. Coz for a product to be able to stay on the shelf, mesti lah ada tambahan pengawet, gula, ,garam steroid etc utk tahan lama. Kalau tak bernasib baik, produk yang anda beli itu mungkin tiruan. Kalau dah tiruan tu, dah lah takde khasiat, tapi mengandungi macam-macam bahan beracun pula... takke bertambah mudarat..

The best part is, produk-produk yang tiada kajian mendalam ni dijual dengan harga berpuluhan dan beratusan ringgit! wow. nasihat doktor yang free dan percuma takde pulak orang nak ikut. Nak jugak beli mahal2..

Bila doktor bagi nasihat, percayalah yang doktor dah lihat macam-macam masalah daripada penggunaan produk-produk ni yang tiada pun kajian mendalam dijalankan ke atasnya. Kencing manis, Kerosakan buah pinggang, kerosakan hati dan bermacam-macam lagi. It is not pretty. Trust the doctors when they tell you to STOP TAKING something that you are taking without knowing the content of it. Tapi sebab percaya apa penjual cakap, you terima sahaja membuta tuli. Orang nak jual barang, mestilah cakap berapi! Mana ada peniaga nak kutuk produk sendiri.. 

Kalau tak percaya lah kan, kalau betul lah produk/supplemen/herba tu boleh mengubati penyakit-penyakit yang you senaraikan tu, bagi dulu produk tu PADA MAK DAN AYAH you yang ada penyakit kencing manis, gout, sakit lutut pakai tongkat, sakit pinggang, kanser dll. Dan tengok lah adakah hilang penyakit-penyakit itu dari orang tua mu? Kalau tak, apa lagi yang kamu dustakan...



Thursday, 15 June 2017

Baby lahir banyak rambut sebab apa ye?

Me: ok makcik. Saya rasa itu sahaja untuk hari ni. Nanti makcik ambil ubat di farmasi ye. (Dengan senyuman yg sgt sweet)

Makcik: ok. Oh ye doctor tolong jangan lupa letak folic acid sekali ye?

Me: oh? Boleh.. takde masalah. Tp boleh saya tahu makcik ambil folic acid utk apa ye? 

Makcik: kan ada dalam rekod tu? Tak tengok ke? Makcik ni memang under follow up Doktor ABC kat hospital ABC! Mmg setiap kali ambil folic acid.

Awesome...

Me: (menyirap gak darah tetiba dia tinggi suara..tp sabar) ok.. jap saya tgk rekod makcik ni. (Puas mencari folic acid prescription dalam rekod. Memang xde. Ke mata aku rabun..

Makcik: tengok la dalam tu. Memang tiap kali datang doctor akan bg saya folic acid. 

Me: memang xde makcik. Saya boleh beri x menjadi masalah. Tp boleh tahu kenapa makcik ambil folic acid? 

Makcik: (dengan suara yg tinggi dan x berpuas hati) saya kan masalah rambut ni asyik gugur. 

Me: berapa lama ye masalah ni? Banyak ke?

Makcik: dah lama dah! 4 tahun dah! Takde la banyak sgt... tp lama dah ni masalah ni!

Me: hmm.. menarik. Siapa yang mulakan ubat ni utk rambut gugur ye makcik? 

Makcik: eh banyak tanya pulak! Apa yg susah sgt! Bagi jelah folic acid tu! Jgn nak naikkan darah saya yg mmg dah tinggi ni!

Aku jeling sekejap pada bacaan BP.. normal je..takde lah tinggi gile..

Me: excuse me makcik. I dont appreciate that tone. I told you that i can give you the folic acid but i just feel weird that ur taking it for hair fall. You dont have to raise your voice at me! (Suara dah mula nak naik dah..)

Makcik: eh makcik dah bertahun dah ambek folic acid. So kalau you rasa folic acid bukan utk rambut gugur habis tu utk apa?

Me: (wow..now kena argue pulak dgn makcik ni). Makcik..kita bagi folic acid sebagai supplement contohnya untuk wanita mengandung.. jarang kita beri utk rambut gugur. Melainkan memang orang tu malnourished dan ada folate deficiency dan ada hair loss maybe lah kita akan bg. Tp makcik sihat dan tidak ada folate deficiency. Makcik makan makanan seimbang setiap hari. So mengambil folic acid tu agak redundant pada pendapat saya.

Makcik: Haaa..org mengandung ambik folic acid tu kan utk buat rambut baby lahir banyak. (Whhaaatttt? Mazhab mana ni???) eh apa yg susah sgt ni? Saya dah ambil bertahun!

Me: ok ok...saya x nak gaduh dengan makcik. so dah bertahun-tahun ambil folic acid rambut makcik dah tak gugur dah ke?

Makcik: urmm...urmmm... (muka malu..tp tak nak kalah)

Me: makcik..saya rasa doctor pun malu nak tulis dalam rekod makcik yg diorg bg makcik folic acid sebab masalah rambut gugur ni. (Ok...ni dlm hati je lah...)

Hampeh.

Doktor pun satu. It doesnt hurt to explain the latest research findings to patients. If it helps to reduce unnecessary prescription, apa salahnya.. ni tidak.. patient mintak je bagi. Patient mintak je bagi. Memang la murah. Tp kalau sebab yg tak masuk akal and not backed up by strong studies tak perlu la kan... in the end bergaduh dengan doctor lain sebab dia x faham or salah faham.

This was a year ago. Now she has STOPPED taking folic acid. I wonder why.....


Aku kata kipas!!!

MA: Doctor.. boleh tolong tengok patient dekat emergency room tak?
Me: kes apa ye?
MA: cirit birit. Muntah muntah.
Me: hmmm(dalam hati dah pelik dah..kenapa sampai nak kena pergi emergency room). Takpe saya datang.
In a flash, i rushed to the emergency room thinking that someone might be super lethargic, dry and probably about to die due to dehydration.

I saw a 20 year old lady lying down with her eyes shut. Her mother was sitting by the side mengipas anaknya dengan gigih.
Sekejap2 anak itu akan menjerit, KIPAS!!! KIPAS!! dan ibunya akan terus mengipas dengan muka yg risau.

 Sekali imbas BP dan pulse rate kelihatan normal pada mesin.

Me: sakit kat mana ye?
Lady: sakit perut!!! Sakit perut!!!
Me: ok.. kat mana ye?
Mula2 taknak tunjuk sakit kat mana.
Me: Adik, bukak mata dan pandang saya please. Cuba tunjuk kat mana sakit tu. Kalau awak tak tunjuk saya x boleh nak buat diagnosis.
Lady: kat sini! Atas ni!! (Sambil tunjuk dia kawasan ulu hati)
Sabar sahaja yg mampu ku lakukan.
Sekejap sekejap terdengar perempuan ini menjerit2 pada ibunya KIPAS, KIPAS!! membuatkan aku mmg TAK ADA SELERA nak berada di sebelahnya lebih lama.

Me: Ada makan apa2 ubat tak?
Pesakit tidak menjawab. Tp ini jawapan ibunya.
Ibu: semalam saya ada bagi dia ubat selsema saya. Sebab tu ke doctor?? Doctor nak tengok ke ubat nye?? Saya gi ambil sekejap dekat rumah ye doctor. Sekejap je. Tapi mintak tolong lah doctor KIPASKAN anak saya ni ye sementara saya pulang ke rumah.

Me: (dalam hati..) kalau lah makcik boleh ckp mcm ni pada doctor yg ada berpuluh pesakit menunggu untuk rawatan utk kipas anak makcik, saya tak terkejut kenapa anak makcik sangat terang terangan berkelakuan kurang ajar dan biadap dengan makcik dan juga staf kesihatan yg lain.

Nak manjakan anak pun ada batasan saya rasa... semoga anak makcik diberi hidayah. Amin.

Sunday, 27 November 2016

yes, we know you are lonely sebenarnya..

Dah banyak kali orang cakap siapa selalu upload gambar di instagram ada masalah mental. Tapi berapa ramai yang akan benar-benar percaya dan cuba reflect balik statement tu pada diri sendiri jika terkena? Tak ramai. Coz rata-rata orang always in denial. And always care more what other people think than addressing the issue of their alleged mental disorder.

Again, petang tadi masa tengah minum-minum dengan BFFs, one of my friends mentioned yang siapa selau update instagram cepat2 ni sebenarnya kurang kasih sayang. Well, it is not fair to generalise, tapi memang saya berani kata tanpa prejudice yang memang ramai orang yang selalu update instagram ni memang in fact 'attention deficit'. Yes, bile update kat instagram semua orang akan puji and 'LIKE', tapi the main person yang you are trying to  get the attention from, you masih tak dapat-dapat. Kenapa? sebab kebiasaannya orang yang tak bagi attention tu takde instagram/tak bukak instagram/couldn't be bothered to read between the lines. They are usually the boring husbands, the busy wives who try to look good on instagram, the comfortable boyfriends, or whoever lah yang diorg try to get attention from.

I did try to reflect on myself jugak sebenarnya. Bile saya tengah happy gile and cuti2 dengan keluarga dengan bahagianya, saya jarang la nak upload gambar2 bahagia tu. Tapi, bile tengah busy dengan studies and kerja and sedar tiba2 anak2 pun tak nak sangat dah kat kita and prefer the maid to us, baru lah terhegeh2 nak upload gambar di instagram or fb. kenapa perlu social media? i guess it is a defensive mechanism. People nowadays kan terlalu sibuk dengan apa orang fikir pasal kita sampai kita ingatkan kalau tak upload gambar maknanya nanti orang akan ingat kita tak happy/tak bahagia/tak happening. and damn we are so affected by that kan?

yup.. that's a mental disorder.

Cukup2 lah dengan throwing your happiness yang tak kesampaian tu on social media kalau niat tu memang nak mencari kasih sayang dari someone else. coz if that is the reason, direct je and ckp "hey, please surprise me with some flowers or chocolates or romantic holiday. i am getting bored with usual routine..''. and kalau memang rasa left behind, start socialising. Kalau rasa anak tu tak nak kat kita, start playing with them sampai lebam.

So, memang there is a truth behind frequent instagrammers or face bookers who consistently try to get attention from others, that actually deep in their heart, ada satu attention tu yang tak dapat2.... sedih lah. I wish everyone can be happy in their own little unit without having any defensive reflexes. I wish I could stop thinking about what others think about me. I wish people could put their phones aside. I wish we were not easily affected by the fake happiness on social media. coz seriously, they are not as happy/pretty/contented as what you think.. you could be better off.




Wednesday, 23 November 2016

Me and my big mouth

I know our mouth can send us to hell. so i would rather zip it up sometimes. but if i kept it inside of me too long, my patience would get past the boiling point. at that time i could explode. and i would say worse things that i would have uttered in the first place. i would hurt the soul that i love most and double the injury that it would have received initially. Then i would feel more guilty and more upset.

guess saying things out loud is not so bad afterall..

But then.. i could go to hell..

Aih..

Friday, 16 September 2016

Death


Death is unavoidable. We are all mortals. We will all die anytime, anywhere and anyway. It is petrifying to think of the afterlife. It is scary to think that we might not yet be ready to die. It saddens us to see our loved ones die. Or someone so great that we look up to dies. It gives a sudden feeling of emptiness. But when we think that heaven is waiting for him or her, then it gives us calmness. Unexplainable calmness. Even if we do not know him or her in person. But we know that they have filled their time with great things and great deeds. What about us? We are still busy collecting sins from our eyes, ears, mouth and heart. We are still wasting our time with worldly affairs. We are not ready to die, but we are not doing anything to prepare ourselves. May God guide us and our family in the right path.

Innalillah hiwainna ilaihirrajiun buat Tok Guru Harun Din. You were a great man and great things await you InsyaAllah.

Friday, 25 December 2015

stop being racist and disrespectful

jiran aku cina dan india.
kawan aku cina dan india.
kawan sekerja aku cina dan india.
pesakit ku cina dan india.
boss aku cina dan india.
pekerja aku cina dan india.
aku beli barang daripada orang cina dan india.
aku dibantu oleh orang cina dan india.
aku membantu orang cina dan india.
aku orang melayu.
aku orang islam.

kenapa perlu mengutuk sesama kita dalam satu negara yang aman? kenapa perlu bersikap perkauman? kenapa perlu menyentuh sensitiviti agama dan kaum? kenapa tidak boleh menghormati agama dan kepercayaan satu sama lain? kenapa perlu berkata-kata kasar dan keji terhadap sesuatu agama yang lain daripada kita?

hebat sangatkah diri kita? hebat sangatkah?

aku cukup terkesan dengan kata-kata orang cina dan india yang sangat lantang mengutuk dan menghina agama dan bangsaku. aku cukup marah dengan bangsa ku yang begitu kasar mengutuk agama dan bangsa lain seolah-olah diri kita sangat hebat dan bagus.

yang paling tinggi di sisi Allah adalah yang paling taat perintahNya. hidayah itu milik Allah. jangan dijatuhkan hukuman pada mereka yang berbeza dari kita hanya kerana kita fikir syurga itu milik kita. belum pasti syurga buat kita jika ada riak dalam diri walau sebesar zarah. belum pasti syurga milik kita jika akhlak kita tidak seperti yang disarankan oleh Islam. belum pasti syurga buat kita jika kita terlalu menyombong dengan nikmat dunia yang sementara dan mengelirukan.

apa guna wang berjuta jika hari esok kita lumpuh kaki dan tangan? apa guna kereta yang mahal, rumah yang besar, duit yang banyak, jika esok kita kemalangan dan mati tanpa bertaubat. apa guna kekayaan sementara di dunia, jika selamnaya kita akan ke neraka jahanam. nauzubillah.

buangkan sifat sombong dalam hati. doakan yang terbaik buat mereka yang masih tidak faham. hidayah milik Allah.. fikir fikirkan lah.


aini ayu


Wednesday, 30 September 2015

joy stopper

nothing stops a smile or a laughter faster than the speed of light when news of death is heard. or even when one is reminded that death is lurking from anywhere at anytime. anyone would just freeze for a moment and stop smiling. anyone would stare blank for a second thinking of what if death is near.

why? because there is nothing more important and more certain than death. the world is full of temporary things. the world is full of lies and slander. it is full of transient beauty.

no one can cheat death. no one can escape from it. if God says be it, so be it. death is certain just as much as heaven and hell. what is there in this life that is more important and bigger than death?

work? exams? girlfriend problem? monetary issue? car being towed? you are stressed of work? or of exams? or of not having enough money for tomorrow?

think of death. then no worry will be that big a deal.

Sunday, 20 September 2015

tipu daya dunia

hidup ini penuh dengan tipu daya. apa yang ditonjolkan, tidak bermakna itu lah hakikatnya. cantik di luar, tidak bermakna cantik di dalamnya. senyum di gambar, tidak bermakna gembira realitinya. cantik masakannya, tidak bermakna enak rasanya. cantik rumahnya, tidak bermakna bahagia keluarganya.

itulah hakikat dunia. jangan terlalu dikejarkan dunia yang sementara. kerana hati akan gundah gulana jika dunia ini dilihat seolah-olah tiada penghujungnya. seolah-olah mati itu jauh sekali. hati akan kacau jika sentiasa mengejar tipu daya dunia. kerana segalanya bersifat sementara. kekayaan, kepandaian, pangkat serta darjat. usah tertipu dengan tipu daya dunia. kerana siapa yang tertipu, maka hidupnya sangatlah rugi.

moga kita dijauhkan daripada tergolong dalam golongan yang rugi. moga esok kita kejar sesuatu yang lebih pasti.

insyaAllah.


Saturday, 5 September 2015

latest slander

i love my country. i love the people. i love the fact that malaysians are smart. they get smarter everyday. to the extent that they become annoyingly foolish sometimes.

i am not quite sure if i should blame the dirty politics within the country. or the advancement in technology. or the greed for money. or the skewed objectives of politicians being leaders in the first place. is it their lust for money that drives them, or love for the country. so far, i have yet to see politicians without blooming businesses in the sideline.

it is upsetting seeing people not knowing what's true and what's not anymore. there is no more separation between the truth and slander. there is no more shame to commit crime in public. there is no more guilt in lying to the people. there is no more fear to be racist and unjust.

i don't care if you hate the government. or if you hate the leaders. or the politicians. or the oppositions. but do not drag those who have nothing to do with them with their dirty laundry. hate the president for all i care, but do not drag the police, or the judiciary or everyone else in your alleged exposé. one corrupt person does not mean the whole world is just as corrupt. 

well, just saying... just because you do not agree with the imprisonment of a sodomist, it doesn't mean that the witnesses, the doctors, the police, the chemist, the reporters, the lawyers and the judges have all been bought over. think before accusing. or you will be lower than low.

Saturday, 20 June 2015

why are you so annoying?

why? whyy?? whhyyyy???

this word WHY can be a very annoying word. sometimes when we say something to someone, we just need him/her to absorb it and accept it as it is. and answer the question immediately. unfortunately, people are born to be naturally curious. and a bit nosy of course.

when a boss asks his worker  to do something, the word why? coming from his worker can be very unnecessarily irritating. 

or when a mother asks a teacher how her son is doing, having the teacher asks why? to the mother makes it really awkward. an initially a sincere question could eventually be seen as a gesture for not trusting the teacher. 

at times it is easier (and more convenient) to keep quiet and answer a question accordingly. stop saying why?? coz not everyone is against you or questioning your ability. 

Monday, 18 May 2015

we are getting crazier

people are getting crazier everyday.
and heartless.
they not only kill people, but they kill people in the hundreds
they not only dump babies, but they dump them in the drains, sewers and toilet bowls
they not only kill other beings, but they cut them into pieces and flush them away
they not only have mannequins, but they have child mannequins,
and then they walk around, talk and socialise like everyone else
no guilt, no fear, no what so ever

where is humanity..
what has gone wrong?
is it the wireless boarder less world?
is it the culture of taking pictures and spreading them like wildfire?
who is at fault?
parents? teachers? the government?

no where is safe anymore
no where is near to normal
everyone is getting sicker
and crazier

Saturday, 9 May 2015

my mother is better than your mother

i am not sure what other mothers do for their children. but i do know that sometimes a mother does not need to cook, wash her children's clothes, send them and pick them up from school, bring them to the playground or even tie their hair to make her children love her more than anyone else in the world. a mother just needs to do one thing and one thing only i.e. hug her children when all they need is a hug, for her to be the perfect mother that nothing could be compared to.

i can't remember much what my mother did for me when i was a baby. or a toddler. but i am sure she did whatever i am doing for my sons now.

i worry for them whenever they are outside of the house
i miss them when they are out shopping with their aunties/uncles/grandparents
i worry if they stopped breathing when they are asleep
i fear that they might have fallen down and hit their head hard when i suddenly hear them cry
i cry just thinking of what could happen to them if i was not around
i cringe just imagining of all the possibilities
i pray that i would be more patient, more loving and more of everything
i constantly wish i could be a better mother than i am now

i have watched how many mothers cry thinking they have not been a good one, but they always cry more when their children tell them the truth. to children, the truth is that their own mother is the greatest, most patient, most hardworking and most beautiful mother of all. and they will never want anyone else filling in their mother's shoes.

happy mother's day to the perfect mother that i have always adored. i love you till my last breath.

Thursday, 30 April 2015

the bucket list

thinking about death is good. it makes us feel humbled by the fact that God is the only one that stays. it keeps us grounded. well, to some people. it makes us realise how short life is and death can come anywhere and anytime.

some people cry when they think about death. some people can't wait to die. some people think that they are going to live a long and prosperous life. some people think that they are going to live forever. some people know when they are going to die. some people spend much of their life feeling angry and stressed. some people are too busy working and making money. some people spend much time thinking they are smarter, stronger and more powerful than others. some people love scolding and putting people down without thinking that it is sinful to hurt others even if they are less smart than them. some people forget that their position in society is not the same as where they stand in His eyes. some people think that they can bring their money to the grave. some people forget that they will eventually die and all their wealth will stay behind.

as for me, i have always thought that my life is going to be a short one. i always have and always will.  knowing that there is another life hereafter makes me feel that this world will never be enough.  i totally don't mind it. i used to think that making millions was everything. but not anymore. as long as i can live my life to the fullest without hurting others, i will be more than happy.

hence i have come up with a revised list of what to do before i die. =)

1) learn how to ride a motorbike
2) learn a new language
3) learn how to ride a horse
4) learn how to shoot the target using a handgun
5) learn to keep quiet when speaking hurts others more
6) to be a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, a good sister and a good friend
7) to keep loving my job till my last breath
8) to make sure that my family is financially well taken care of once i die
9) to enjoy nature more than what i used to
10) to bungee jump
11) to volunteer as much as i can
12) to be more patient with old people, annoying little children, idiots who think that they are smarter than the rest of the population
13) to forgive and be forgiven
14) to be closer to God every single day

InsyaAllah. wish me all the luck in the world. =)


Monday, 20 April 2015

doctors cry too

only doctors understand doctors.

the other day i was looking at this particular picture that went viral. it was a photo taken by a paramedic outside the emergency department and in the picture was a doctor who was crying. the story was that the doctor just lost his patient and he could not contain the sadness within him. hence he went outside to cry his lungs out so that no one could see him cry. unfortunately, the whole world saw it.

being human is easy. but being a doctor with a heart can sometimes be tough. at medical school, i was  literally taught not to cry in front of patients or their relatives. i was told that a doctor should not take away the grief of a patient's family by crying too. so they said.

but when a child dies and we are the ones who have to inform the parents of the heartbreaking news, we can't help but to shed a tear or two as well. witnessing the parents literally burst into tears while we stand there with a poker face, is not an easy task. we usually would leave them as quickly as we can to find the nearest empty room. not to go to sleep, but to cry in between the racks. once the tears have dried up, we wash our face and we get back to work as if nothing happened.




Sunday, 12 April 2015

reading women's mind part 2


a woman always wishes to have the perfect husband/boyfriend.
a woman always hopes that her man is more understanding.
more helpful with the house chores.
more sensitive with her feelings.
more loving.
more successful.
more hardworking.
more and more of everything
and the list goes on and on..

when a woman wants something from her man, all she ever knows is that she has to have it.
there and then.
if it takes a while for it to happen, then she might not want it anymore.
(well, she will say she doesn't want it, but deep inside she wants it more than anything)
then if (after a while) the man tells her that he is giving her what she wants, she flips.
coz she does not want it anymore, remember?
so she says..

why does this happen?

coz women are complicated.
we want our men to want to do the dishes, not because they have to.

to come to think of it again, which man in his right man would WANT to do the dishes anyway?


Wednesday, 1 April 2015

apa itu bentan

Malays love to be blind followers. Most follow things blindly without thinking. They do not mind looking like fools as long as they can follow something that they think others follow as well.

Forget copy -pasting articles over the ineternet,on facebook and whatsapp. The most annoying thing that i find impossible to comprehend is the word 'bentan'. it is so illogical that there is no english translation and definitely no scientific explanation for it. But people still believe in it so religiously without even knowing what it actually means. Ask any man or woman out there.what the hell does bentan mean? And you will get a few minutes of silence. A few moments later, you will see them googling the meaning on their smart phones, trying very hard to explain something to others what they just learned from the internet. Simply annoying.

So don't be blind followers. Use our brains before uttering something that we ourselves do not understand. It makes us the true definition  of stupidity.

Remember, we get high fever because of bugs, virus or bacteria. Not because of playing in the rain..



Tuesday, 24 March 2015

building the present from the past

i used to be that girl who just knew how to enjoy life my own way. i used to be that girl who couldn't care less what others thought of me. i used to be that girl who couldn't be arsed to know what was the latest fashion at that time. i used to be that girl that loved to wear what i wanted to wear, do what i wanted to do, love what i wanted to love and enjoy what i wanted to enjoy. i broke a few hearts along the way, hurt some souls, made some happy, and some did not quite like my presence. but i just couldn't care less. yes, i was that kind of girl. not many people noticed my existence but those who did, i am sure most of them wished they had not met me in the first place.

now i feel slightly different inside me. not because i am happy with my present or because i am plain grateful with life. but it is because i am so satisfied with my present life that i will never change a thing what i did in the past. my past has shaped the person i am today. it has moulded me into this person that i hardly know at times. sometimes reality seems surreal.

now, everything matters more to me. no more not caring what others think. i become conscious of my appearance. i become aware of my surroundings. i become more concerned with making others happy. why? maybe this is what maturity is all about. or maybe this is what becoming a mother is all about. don't do unto others what i might not want others to do unto my children.. =)

Sunday, 15 March 2015

reading women's mind

women are very simple people actually. not as complicated as what men usually think. but the problem is, it becomes complicated because when a woman wants something, she just wants that particular thing. and unfortunately she rarely says it out loud. if the man can't read her mind (which is usually the case), then that is when it becomes complicated.

a man can call his woman everyday from north pole for all she cares, but if she doesn't hear him say the words that she wants to hear, she won't appreciate much what he does. if a woman wants to hear her man say 'i love you' but he doesn't, and instead he gives her all the attention in the world, fill up her room with red roses and expensive chocolates, those things will still mean nothing till she hears the words she wants to hear.

and some women are just as strong and as simple as a man can be. if you don't say what she wants you to say, she won't say it first. if you don't do what she wants you to do, she won't do it first. if i want you to hug instead of kiss me and i do not get either, i don't care if you vomit blood before me. if compassion is all what women want and they don't get it, their hearts might turn to stone in no time. revengeful. but it is that simple.

well, it is indeed THAT simple with women. try read their mind. and.you.shall.always.fail. ;-)

Monday, 23 February 2015

power of an embrace

people are becoming more detached from anything that defines humanity. less time is spent to show love, compassion and care. there is less time allocated for family to bond. and less time for close friends to catch up and interact.

people are becoming extremely materialistic. time is spent for worldly affairs. those that matter before them become apparition overnight. we become blind of our own sight. we see things that only have value of dollars and cents.

stop for a moment and embrace the sounds of the surroundings. appreciate the deafening silence of the night. smile to strangers that cross your path everyday. hug those you love. enjoy the tight embrace of your spouse and feel the warmth that wraps your body. appreciate the peace that comes with it. enjoy it coz it might be the best thing that can ever happen to you.. just by a simple hug.

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

malaysians and spreading lies

the advancement of technology has its pros and cons. a world without boundaries comes with great drawbacks. people are free to spread lies, news, slander and information without limitation. a lot of people have been tarnished from their respectable image due to this so called thing we call internet. people easily spread super imposed pictures and fabricated information that have no reliable source. people become addicted to spreading lies. all they think about is wanting to be the first to convey that information to others. doesn't matter if it is right or wrong. they think they are smart if they spread interesting news that might get some sort of reaction from the general public. people are using less of their brain cells nowadays to filter knowledge and trash. people just want to be famous. for all the wrong reasons via the wrong way.

in Malaysia, it is such a common phenomenon to  associate everything with corruption, money laundering and to a particular political party that they think controls every individual in the country. if things don't go their way, then everyone else is corrupt. everything else is dirty.

and when they are not satisfied of something, they go on the internet to spread lies that are made up of their own hallucination and delusion. they use religious remarks to scare people when they themselves don't believe in God. they act as if they are holier that thou. they are the biggest culprits and if they deserve to be incarcerated, then prison is where they should rot till their last breath.


Monday, 2 February 2015

you think you have it bad?

when i thought i was strong, i saw stronger women cross my path. and when i thought i had a tough life, those with all kinds of misfortunes happening to them would come and rub them in my face (well, not literally..). and they are not necessarily older or more experienced than me.

one of them was a 20 yr old girl who has a 3 year-old son who suffers from cerebral palsy. she is this fine pretty young lady with a demeanour that is way too mature for a 20 year old. i get easily moved by these kind of people. knowing that she would have to forego her fun-time with friends or doing things that a normal 20 year old would do bug me at times. it is all because she has a responsibility that not everyone has on her plate. and it is no ordinary child, but one who is so special with his name already etched in heaven.

i wonder if i could be as strong as her if i had been in her shoes. would i pass the bucket to someone else? would i get a helper or a nurse to look after the child. would i be as patient and accepting? i don't know. i will never know.

i pray that she has all the strength that she needs to cater for the child till the day he dies.


Tuesday, 27 January 2015

life is a loan

i am not sure where i read this particular statement, but it got me into thinking more than usual. not thinking, but imagining the what ifs..

"appreciate your blessings, as they are on loan to you."

simple statement yet very powerful. disturbing in actual fact. disturbing because it is true.

life is short. every single thing that we own is not really ours.  they are all gifts and blessings from God and He can take them back anytime He wants. anytime. One moment we might have a beautiful family, with a loving spouse, beautiful children who adore us, a huge mansion that we call home, and a career that we love. but the next moment, our loved ones might leave us forever. we might lose that job we think was going to keep the food on our table. and that moment will come with no warning.
just like when a plane crashes or when tsunami strikes.

are we ready to face the loss of those we can't imagine living without? am i ready to see my blissful life dissipate before me.. the answer is always no. but who are we to say no?

life is a loan. savour it while we still can.



Tuesday, 20 January 2015

bored

So what do you do when you are bored?

Apart from sleeping it off, i start calling everyone in my phonebook.

One thing i notice, whenever we need talk to people badly, that is not necessarily the case for everyone else.

Most of the time, people are either in a meeting, or driving. Or still busy working. And there i am bored on the couch. :D

Monday, 12 January 2015

first day at school

Today is the first day of school for 2015.

I remember my first Day at school when i was 7. i  was scared, anxious, scared and very scared. I have never been a brave girl within me, but one thing for sure, i do look like one superficially. at least thats what people have been telling me.

Anyway, today we see what parents would do for their children. Some wait outside their classroom till it ends. Some hide behind the wall to ensure that no one is bullying their children. Some argue with the teachers to ensure that their children get to sit at the front row. Some just couldn't be bothered.

The first time for a parent to see his or her children's lives change is an opportunity that no parent would want to miss.

My dad cancelled all his appointments at work when i gave birth. Mind you, i was 25 years old. Not the scared lonely 7 year old i once was. But he still wanted to be there to witness the most important event of my life.

I wonder if i would ever let myself miss my children's first day at school, or first time to ride a bike, or first newborn. Coz as far as i can remember, my parents never missed any important event of mine.
and for that matter, i think no parent should.

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

respect each other

In my religion, we have been reminded to respect each other. Not only should we respect our parents, or the elderly, but we should also respect others with different faith and religion. We were reminded a few times not to ridicule other religion as their believers could do the same to us. Let whatever their religion be theirs, and our religion be ours.

Unfortunately there will always be people who prefer to make fun of other people and play with sensitive issues without thinking of the consequences of their words and actions.
So recently the world was shocked by the massacre in paris on cartoonists. It all started from these cartoonists ridiculing Islam. Yes, nothing can justify the massacre, but no one should ridicule another religion in the first place. If only everyone is more tolerant and sensitive towards other people's belief, surely there will be more peace than violence in this world. One can just hope.

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

when disaster strikes

Malaysians talk louder than what they can actually do. a lot think that they are smart. usually they think they are smarter than anyone out there. they make conjectures from thin air. they think what they read on Facebook and twitter is the real thing. they believe hearsay more than facts. not many Malaysians love to read, but they act as if they have read so much.

so the flood has hit Malaysia. again. we get this every year. and every year seems worse than the last. and every year, there will be a lot of unnecessary remarks made by smart alexes.

Malaysians complain so much that it is hard to be grateful with what they have. there are the ones who need help and they complain that help arrives late. the ones who are being helped complain that there is not enough of everything. the leaders try hard to show that they are doing something. the ones who are not involved are busy making their hypotheses of why things happen. they complain that help is not enough, the government is not doing enough, the money is not channelled to the right people and so on and so forth. and they don't contribute a thing. they don't donate money, they don't volunteer, they don't even try to make things better.

i guess this will never change. Malaysians will always be Malaysians.

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Tuhan, jaga dia untukku..

i looked at my son today. i couldnt help but feel this sudden sadness within. it dawned upon me that anything can happen anytime and anywhere. what if anything happened to me? what if i ever had to go and leave the world for good, would anyone look after my son and love him as much as i do? i will never know. but i pray that he will always be in safe hands..

may God protect you my son. with or without me by your side.



Wednesday, 17 December 2014

patients lie all the time

Being a doctor is about listening to your patients' stories attentively and reply compassionately. They cry and tell all their sob stories to you, hoping that you will be on their side. Unfortunately patients lie most of the time. And they lie to doctors with no guilt or whatsoever. They lie directly at your face thinking that truth will never be told. the lie about everything. They lie about taking their meds when they actually dont. They lie about their symptoms. They lie about being victimized when all they want is extra financial help from the government. They lie because they are scared to be seen that they dont comply or to show that things happen with no reason.

The good thing about being a doctor is that we have our nurses to do the gossipping and tell us the reality behind all the fabricated act. but knowing the truth usually happens after we have wasted hours of our life listening to made up stories(and maybe adviced something to help ease their made up agony).

so over time, doctors learn. At least i do. I have been lied to so many times that i grow to judge my patients before actually meeting them. This is crucial to ensure that i dont get thrown with mud at my face again and again.

Friday, 12 December 2014

some house officers get scolded because they are not good

so now seems to be the time where house officers in malaysia are complaining and writing in their whining and whinging to the media. absolutely repulsive. to tell you the truth, why make your job a big deal? is it really that great? well, it is great if you make people better and keep quiet about it. but once you start complaining how tired you are because your job is demanding, then i don't see how noble your job seems to be anymore. by right, doctors help to make people feel better. but we should never expect something out of it. if people appreciate what we do, well and good. but if they don't, so be it.

frankly, house officers who whine and complain too much are those who get a tougher training compared to their peers. but why does that happen? blame it on themselves. one will not get scolded if one is really good at his/her work.  if you keep making mistakes, you will surely keep being scolded. eventually, you will break and you will blame other people for your own weakness.

so to me, those who complain are the very ones who deserve to be scolded because they are not good at what they do. they need the scoldings because they keep making the same mistakes. i don't remember being humiliated or scolded till i feel like crumbling, coz i know i was good at what i did and i will continue to try to be great at it. medicine is a field that plays with people's lives and emotions. one single mistake and people can die. it is not something that we can make do with mediocrity. that explains the tough training.

stop complaining. start to be better. if you still get scolded, you are not cut out for this profession.


Sunday, 7 December 2014

irresponsible men vs my perfect man

I come across so many types of people everyday. On a daily basis, i see a mininum of 50 new faces with a spectrum of personalities and their own sob sob stories. Some are happily married, while some are stuck in a cycle of domestic violence and neglect. Most of these women i see are helpless as they are uneducated and not aware of their rights as wives.

Seeing women treated unfairly by their spouses are absolutely heart wrenching. They depend so much on their men that they think they are trapped with them forever. Like there is no way out. They are left at home with a lot of kids to look after, mouths to feed, but not much incentive given to survive. Some of these women are still young in their early twenties but they already have five kids to look after. They usually end up looking twenty years older. when we suggest contraception, the husbands come up with so many religious excuses.

I wonder why some men do not know how to be responsible. They want to get married but once they have children, they forget that it takes two to make things happen. They talk to their wives as if they deserve to be treated badly. They forget that they once promised for better or for worse.

Of all men i have met, there is this one particular guy who has always been sweet to me. I couldn't find any man more polite to me than him. His words are always refined around me. He never raises his voice just to show authority. He advises me in a way that makes me adore him more. He makes me want to be a better person for him. He never does things to purposely hurt me. Never in a thousand years would i imagine him hitting me. His touch is always gentle and loving. His smile is always there to brighten up my day. I wish all men would treat their wives just like he would do to me. He makes me feel safe and secure and above all, he makes me feel beautiful inside out. He is no other than my loving hubby whom i adore so.very.much.


Although it is still early, i want to wish you a very Happy fifth anniversary. I love you more than all the love in this world..

Thursday, 4 December 2014

malaysians and their idiotic slanders

A few weeks back the nation was shocked by the story of a pretty young girl whose house was broken into and she was assaulted badly on the face with a knife. Her picture in the hospital with her head wrapped with bandage and blood everywhere became viral within hours of the incident. Most were sympathetic. But being malaysians, there has to be some people who should have learned to keep their mouth shut.

During hard times like this, it is bad enough that her scarred face became viral, but having to hear some heartless rants from complete strangers who know nothing better, is definitely hurtful. Not only were they not being sympathetic, but these idiots have managed to come up with completely nonsensical slander regarding the incident. what if it happened to them instead? will hurtful rumours help them to feel better?

When our fellow malaysians become victims of a heinous crime, it is always best to send our condolences and prayer rather than add salt to injury. The last thing a victim needs is an accusation that she did that to herself.

Please, be nice. It doesnt cost you a penny to be nice.you wont know when it is your turn to hit rock bottom.

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

auto pilot

It is amazing how our body goes into auto pilot mode when the brain gets tired or thinks about something.

I have been in many moments where i dont even realise that i am driving. The next thing i know, i have already reached my destination. I cant even remember if i actually drive past red lights. At times, i snap out of the auto pilot mode in the middle of my journey. When this happens, i would go into some minor anxiety attack, trying to think what just happened.

Am i day dreaming too much? or am i just tired..

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

toddlers and constipation



looking at my son everytime he passes motion can be very hurtful. not only for him, but also for me. when he passes motion, he will have this classical constipated look; as if it is really painful and hard to pass those stools. at times i wonder if i have been feeding him enough fibre. or have i not.

his face goes all red and engorged, his eyes start to water and he keeps quiet for a moment. this episode can last from 30 seconds to a couple of minutes. once he finishes, life resumes normally like nothing has happened. but the trauma sticks with me. it is indeed very painful to see him struggle just to pass his stools..

constipation is a vicious cycle for toddlers with poor fibre diet. once they find it painful to pass motion, the next time they have the urge to open their bowel, they will try not to. so the stool gets harder the next time. and the cycle continues.

95% of my patients (toddlers) who have constipation are usually caused by poor fibre intake. well, toddlers can't get their own food, so the blame is definitely on the parents. sometimes parents change their toddlers' milk on a monthly basis just to get the best milk for them with the hope that their constipation disappears. most of the time changing milk does not work.

most parents forget that milk is not fibre. whether their toddlers like it or not, it is vegetables and fruits that help ease constipation. sometimes if they really hate veggies, i suggest yogurt and drinks like vitagen instead. snacking on prunes and fruits is way better than crisps. so sometimes giving in to their terrible two tantrum is not always a good thing. coz once they are hit with constipation, it can last for years if the vicious cycle is not halted.

Saturday, 22 November 2014

so many things to do

There are so many things that i want to do. I want to sell things and be filthy rich, i want to go to third world countries and do humanitarian work, i want to donate money to the needy and make them smile, i want to raise my son and make him successful, i want to read books during my free time, i want to buy a persian cat and feed it till it gets really fat and cute, i want to potty train my son, and i want to do so many things in my life.

What is stopping me? cant really answer that. probably laziness or too busy with other things.. or do we need more than 24 hours a day?

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

pregnancy and me

when women talk about the difficulties of being pregnant, they usually talk about the same thing.
1) contraction pain
2) weight gain
3) pimples
4) skin itch
5) overactive bladder
And the list goes on and on

The above list doesnt really bother me much
So now i am going to talk about MY experience during pregnancy that REALLY bothers me
1) nauseated all the time except when i am eating - hence the excessive weight gain
2) non stop urge to sit in front of the tv and watch as many movies as i can and do nothing - i stop cooking, washing the clothes, vacuuming... Basically keeping the house clean..
3) pain in my butt when i lift my legs; especially when putting on my trousers. Gosh it hurts so bad that it feels like my legs are falling apart and that my pelvis is splitting into two
4) inability to scrub my feet and cut my toe nails - hence my horrible looking feet throughout my pregnancy
5) no sleeping position seems comfortable
6) leg cramps at night that make me cry EVERY TIME - hence the need to wake my hubby up to massage my leg at 3 in the morning
And the list goes on and on..

Sunday, 9 November 2014

Love your children. They are residents of heaven.

There are so many articles and talks emphasising on good communication between partners. The problem with the society in this country is that a lot of us are too used to speak in a higher than usual tone, or simply not used to saying thank you, please and sorry. Parents fight in front of their children using harsh language and they seem to be oblivious of the facts that their behaviour is being copied by their children. After all, how bad or rough their parents are, children will still look up to their own. They still yearn for their attention and love. Even when they are terribly hit and abused, they will still run towards their parents and not away from them.

If children are allowed to choose with whom they want to hug at times they are sick and in pain, they will still choose their parents regardless of how much their parents might not care about them. How sad.. If you have seen victims of abuse at a young age, you will cry to see how inhumane some people are and how unfair life is to these helpless kids.

Once they grow bigger and wiser, then they will start to distance themselves from their parents. By that time, it will be too late for parents to undo their mistakes. Adolescent angst will prevail and continue till they leave the house for good.

Be good to your partner. Be loving and gentle. Apologise when mistakes are done. Say thank you when it is due. Be attentive to your children. Show them that you care. Hug them when they cry. Tell them that they are special. Do not hit because you are angry. Coz when you do, you will hit harder than you should. Never teach something when even we do not do it. Coz children are always better at copying than rationalising.

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

Arrogant doctors part 2

Again i was disturbed by a facebook posting by a newly gazetted hospital specialist critiscizing and putting down their colleagues from the primary care. She mentioned something very demeaning that to me was an unfair generalisation that could easily offend many.

Posts that put people down especially other doctors invariably invite more demeaning comments from loyal friends that are intended to support the person. So the cycle goes on and on and more people will get hurt in the process.

I strongly support the health DG of malaysia to punish this lady doctor for being unprofessional and unethical. Her arrogant, conceited and cocky remarks are a reflection of her true self that does not abide by the professional ethics of doctors.

May doctors stop thinking that one is superior to the other as there will always be moments where we will all make mistakes and fall hard to the ground.

Having a bit of humility does not hurt. Instead, It makes you bigger.

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

senyum itu sedekah

Charity means giving without expecting anything in return. Giving without even realising that we are, is the epitome of a charitable act.

Smiling in itself is a form of charity. At least in my religion it is,

But when we smile and people dont smile back, we get terribly offended.

So where is the spirit of charity? Arent we supposed to smile at people and be ready of not getting anything in return? Including another smile?

Get our purpose right. Or we will never stop complaining,

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

The signs are everywhere

There is so much injustice in this world. There is so much slander. There are fabricated news everywhere that we do not know what is right anymore. There are gossips vis-a-vis the real thing. There is reputation at stake due to media manipulation. There is so much bad vis-a-vis the good. There are so many unanswered questions. There is too much vice. There is never an end to all of this.

We have been warned of the impending doom and the little signs that come before it. And why are we still nonchalant about it? Are we too engrossed with worldly affairs that we forget what awaits us in the hereafter? Haven't we seen and heard enough?

Signs are everywhere. Why do we still have a tough time searching for them? Are we actually looking with our eyes? Or are we in constant denial?

May God guide us in the right path..

Monday, 20 October 2014

Food stalls vs mice

I was happily eating my roti canai this morning when i suddenly saw a glimpse of a not so small creature crawling about five feet away from me. I did not flip, but it kinda got me thinking for a bit.

Naturally, eating at a stall set up next to one of the biggest drains at the housing area, we expect these creatures to be roaming the area. With or without one of the best food stalls opened nearby.

So these creatures are called mice. Do we stop eating there just because we saw one miserable looking rat behind the cashier counter?

But the food is simply good.

Oh well.. What do we expect? Choosing to eat next to the smelly drain comes with consequences.

Monday, 13 October 2014

Housemanship in malaysia - my experience and the rest of them

I was a houseofficer once. I had to do things that all houseofficers had to do. I had to run to the blood bank for blood products. I had to wait (stupidly) at the blood bank for half an hour till the blood is ready and then run back to wherever i came from. I had to wake up early in the morning to see patients. I had to skip breakfast and lunch most of the time. I had to go home hours passed my working time. I had to come home feeling so tired that i would go straight to bed. I had to hurt my family for not being there for important family dinners and events. I had to take blood from patients and prick them again and again till they got really fed up with me. I had to pacify family members who were angry at the system for causing their relative to wait for days for an operation. I had to deal with rude nurses who thought they were so experienced and that they were better and smarter than me. I had to spend a lot of money for expensive catering before i left a particular department. I had to stay up the whole night to check on an ill patient every hour or half an hour. I had to suffer from severe stomach ache due to five hours of delayed voiding as i had no time to run to the toilet. I had to do CPR at 2am while pregnant at 35weeks, alone, while waiting for my staff who were chilling in the pantry to come and realise that the patient was not breathing anymore. I had to endure painful contractions everynight i was oncall in the emergency department when i was pregnant. I had to memorise the history of patients' in three wards before i could get a day off. I had to be patient when i got scolded for other houseofficers' mistakes. 

I went throught it. We all did. What's the big fuss? Why not enjoy every bit of it instead of whining and justifying why you shouldn't have gone through what you went through just because you 'don't plan to become doctors forever'? Why not learn and experience something as much as you can; something that only a doctor understands. I enjoyed every bit of my training. I fell, i stood up again, i learned, and i became better. I had more great moments compared to all the above. Most people concentrate too much on the bad experience when there are actually more happy times to savour and remember. You cant stand the training, quit sooner than later. Coz frankly, you are just not cut out for it.

Saturday, 11 October 2014

Positivity

When we do something, it has to come from the heart. It has to be sincere. It has to be full of love and happy thoughts. Coz the end result will be a mixture of how good the product is + how much of good aura it accompanies it. The more positive the energy is, the better the outcome will be.

The outcome can be anything from the dish you cook, to a speech that you give to the public. When you cook with love, it will taste much better. If there is so much hate and boredom, it will taste aweful. When you give a speech with passion, the hall will sit back and listen to every word that comes out of your mouth. And your speech will be remembered forever.

Be positive. Disseminate cheerful vibes. Infect people with continuous laughter. Do everything for love. Stop whining.

Thursday, 9 October 2014

Living in a lie

If you think your spouse or boy/girl friend is annoying and disappointing, wait till you hear what i had to go through today.

No I am not going to talk about my marriage, but this is a story that I will always remember from now on. It is about how unfair a person can be to his or her own spouse. The person you took a vow with, for better or for worse. To me, whatever she did, it is worse than having a spouse who cheats with another person.

So this is a true story about a woman who made a mistake in her past and had to create one lie after the other. As a result of her mistake, she was unfortunate enough to be infected with HIV. She knew about it when she became pregnant on the same year. A year after she delivered a healthy baby girl, she met a man whom she married not long after their first date. Their first child was conceived and delivered the next year. The child has HIV positive.

Being the person she is, she refused to accept that their HIV positive child needed treatment. She insisted that their child was fit as a fiddle. She was constantly in denial.

Just recently they had another baby. It has been five years since they got married. And the husband still does not have a clue of her status and their eldest child's. The worst thing is, he has no idea that he could also be infected with it.

Until today, I finally had the chance to meet the husband. Just imagine how he reacted upon receiving the news..

May God grant you the greatest miracle ever.

Monday, 6 October 2014

Not a housewife

I know i can't be a housewife. I know i don't enjoy doing house chores on my own. I know i don't like seeing people leave the house and i am the one closing the gates and the house door. I known i hate staying home alone.

I love my life now. I have a career that i simply enjoy. I look forward for work everyday. Well, sometimes i don't (like when i am down with flu or some bug), but most of the time, i get excited expecting the challenges for the day. Come what may. I am ever ready.

A good life is not only having a family, or earning big bucks. But it is the little things that make your life less miserable. They are the convenience of having your best 'roti canai' shop next to your house (where you can drop by it on the way to the office), having your lovely adorable hubby do the chores together, having time to have breakfast just in time before work starts, and having to drive less than 10 minutes to work.

I love the little things in life. I love that i am not a housewife.

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Useless mother i am..

I was talking to one of my staff the other day. She is a mother of four lovely boys.

She told me that the night before her 2 year-old son woke her up at 2 am and said,
"Mummy, i want an egg"..

So what she did was that she woke up, boiled an egg and gave it to her son. At 2 o'clock in the morning.

What would I have done in the same instance? I would tell my son to go back to bed and sleep. And if he starts crying, I'd probably raise my voice and put him outside the room to cry on his own till he stops.

Damn i feel so useless. There is still so much patience and motherly compassion that i need to muster.

Thursday, 25 September 2014

Uncertain future

I just finished reading a newspaper article on a story of a couple that got married after a four-month 'telephone' relationship. They saw once before any sparks even ignited, and that was just a five-minute hasty meeting. Then the relationship grew over the phone in that four months. When they decided to meet, they tied the knot. In just four months.

Who would have guessed that a marriage could be done in such haste. Who could have imagined what lies ahead unless you miraculously dreamt of it. Life is extremely uncertain. But it is full of surprises. Whether they are good or bad, we will have to face them and savour them. Who would have expected that the above couple who knew each other for four months are now happily married with a beautiful 2 year-old son. Who would have guessed that the man that you were engaged with for 2 years finally decided to leave you. Who would have guessed that the wife you adored decided to fall for another guy? Who would have guessed that the awaited baby for nine months just had to die immediately after birth...

No one would have guessed any of that. We take life as it comes. But we should always be ready of any trials and tribulations that might hit us hard suddenly. Unknowingly. And when hit low, we should stand up tall again. Afterall, this life is not the end of everything. It is just a start of an investment of how we would be like in the life hereafter.


Monday, 22 September 2014

Unwanted babies

The difference between Malaysia and other countries, is that you can only find babies in toilet bowls/rubbish dumps/drains in Malaysia. It happens on a monthly basis that it sounds like a norm and the 'in' thing to do nowadays. A lot of women and married couple wait for years to hold a precious baby in their arm. And when we hear of unwanted babies chucked in the manhole, it just becomes repulsively unimaginable.

I am not asking the society to condone to pre marital sex that usually leads to this phenomenon, but i urge you to be more supportive and understanding of those teenagers or unmarried women who might have got pregnant unwillingly. Parents should forgive and support their teenage daughters if they made a mistake. The lives of the innocence should not be violently taken away for fear that society might reject them of their past mistakes. Who are we to judge those who have wronged. God is ever forgiving.

Friday, 19 September 2014

Do it right

Our children will sometime refuse to listen to us. Most of the time they ignore our instructions. But they never fail to do what we do.

Actions speak louder than words.

Do it right.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Doctors, stop telling the world that you hate your job.

People who dedicate their lives doing voluntary work are a bunch of amazing people. They do their 'thing' without complaining or sighing. Their hearts are so pure that we could easily fall in love with them anytime. They are usually very humble, very pleasant and extremely helpful. Their dedication for humanity is priceless.

So i went to this volunteering induction programme last week. We were asked to introduce ourselves and tell everyone why were we there on that day. 95% said they wanted to help people.

Then i went back home to go through the internet and saw a bunch of articles and status and tweets written by depressed, frustrated, angry, and sad doctors. They vent out their dissatisfaction and anger freely on Facebook for the world to know how 'difficult' their lives have been for being 'doctors'. They forgot for a while that they get paid to do great things for helpless people in need. Do doctors nowadays have what it takes to be doctors? Or should they just resign and be volunteers instead?

Doctors should refrain themselves from moping too excessively coz what should have been seen as noble wouldn't be noble anymore when all patients hear is complaints of how tired or annoyed their doctors are for attending to them. Geeeshhh..

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Back to being a child

Very old people will always be confused, say things that might hurt others, or be forgetful, or say things that we might not understand at all. They have a completely diferent language at times. At the end, we get easily annoyed.

They are no different to children.

Like what has been said before us,
" those whom We have given an extended life, they will go back to how they start.."
Well not exactly word by word, but pretty much what it means..

So be patient with our elderly as we have been informed.


Wednesday, 10 September 2014

EVERY SINGLE NIGHT...

So this is what i go through every night.

8:30pm.
Hubby tells me that it is time for our toddler to go to bed.

8:45pm.
Toddler is still playing with his toys

9:00pm.
Calls toddler and tells him that it is bedtime. Toddler says that he wants to watch his favourite cartoon. Hubby and i say No. Toddler cries for 5 minutes. Pacify toddler and hug him and cuddle him for a bit.

9:15m.
Toddler asks for milk. Hubby makes milk. I walk with toddler upstairs, put him in his bed and let him finish his milk. I switch off the lights. Once finished, toddler gets out of bed. He wants to read the book.

9:30pm.
I switch the lights on again. Read the book with him. Quickly. Then closes it and says again (with a more stern voice) that it is time to sleep. Toddler cries again for 5 minutes. I switch the lights off.

9:45pm.
I place toddler in his bed. Again. Closes the door. Calls hubby upstairs. Hubby and i lie beside him. Pretending to sleep. Toddler rolls around and crawls on our body. We get irritated. Hubby raises his voice demanding toddler to stop whatever he is doing and sleep. Toddler cries again. I hug and cuddle toddler.

10:00pm.
Toddler is asleep. Hubby and i are in deep sleep..





Monday, 8 September 2014

Perfect Man

So now on Mix fm they are busy talking about whether there is such as thing as The Perfect Man.

I remember this joke that was told to me a few years back.

In a lift there were a lady and three men (Superman, a teacher, and The Perfect Man), and suddenly the lights went out. And when it came back up, it was found that the lady was stabbed in the chest. So the question is, who could have possibly killed the lady? The answer is simple. The teacher. Why? Because the other two don't exist.

How true is this? Seriously, there is no such thing as The perfect man? Some may disagree. Most would agree coz in reality, there is no perfect man for everyone, but there is probably a perfect man just for you..



Sunday, 7 September 2014

Knowing and doing whats right

We know what is right and what is wrong. And we get reminded every now and then of the should dos and shouldnts. We know. We have always known. We will always know. The light has been shown upon us.

But executing it seems very difficult.

So how do we start to go about and do it?

Keep praying that we have the strength to do it. One step towards God, a few steps He is closer to us.


Sunday, 31 August 2014

Sadness vs reality

What is sad?

A son crying in agony but the mother has no idea that he is in pain.
A wife who suffers in silence from years of abuse but refuses to stand up for justice.
A father who is left in the street by his own children to beg for food every time.
A struggling small timed chef being surrounded by mega food chains that easily make millions in a month.
A confused, rebellious and attention-hungry child stuck between two angry parents who hate each other.
A kitten that just lost its mother.
A mother that threw her baby in the toilet bowl.
A country that is slowly being wiped out of the map due to persistent oppression.
A doctor that misdiagnosed a heart attack with a normal benign muscle pain.

What is sad?

Friday, 29 August 2014

Understand vs habit

This is the usual conversation that i have with my son.

Son: where's Dad?
Me: Dad's working
Son: Oooo..

Honestly, i am not quite sure if he actually understands it, but the fact that he sounds like he does makes me smile everytime. Of course deep inside i'd say 'yeah right as if u understand what i'm saying..'.

I don't know what is actually going on in that beautiful mind of my two-year-old, but i surely hope it is something great. And i will always believe that he understands but acts like he doesn't (most of the time). Grrrrr....

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Terrible two

When your baby is not a baby anymore, you will either be easily annoyed or easily annoyed. Honestly, there is no other option.

When they don't get something they want, they scream their lungs out. Loudly and with a decible that is piercingly irritating. Sometimes they wake you up in the middle of your very very deep sleep. As a result, you become an irritated monster.

When the tv is on and they don't get to watch their favourite show, they run away with the remote, rendering you to jump out of your comfortable couch fearing that they will change your favourite show when you are in the middle of finding out 'who is actually the killer..'.

When they sleep, they look so cute that you just want to wake them up..

Don't you just love your children.. :)

Friday, 22 August 2014

Our hearts are with you, MH17

Yesterday was a day in history for Malaysia. We were in solidarity to show our deepest condolence and respect to the victims of MH17.

My heart breaks again and again everytime i read on MH17, on how sad the families of the victims are, how heartbreaking it is to see a one year old son losing his father, a 9- year old son crying and insisting to see the remains of the mother, a mother losing her dutiful son, and a wife losing her soulmate matched in heaven.

There were stories of how great the victim as a father was, or a son, or a mother, or a friend. Only good stories about them and that is all that we needed to hear. There was one victim who once cried thinking of how heartbreaking it would be if his son would grow up as an orphan. Unfortunately, he is now an orphan whom we could just pray would grow up into a fine young man, just like his father once was.

May all your souls rest in peace..

Thursday, 21 August 2014

What have we done

Any destruction is more often than not a result of one's own mistake. If one becomes fat, it is because one refuses to reduce the food intake or exercise. If one has poorly controlled diabetes, it is because that one is not compliant to taking the medicine. If an accident happens, it is because one refuses to rest and sleep at the R&R or drive slowly. If one gets addicted to drugs, it is because one wants to 'try out' something dangerous and act 'cool'. If there is a landslide, that is because of destruction of nature. By man.

So most of the time we are the ones that cause all the destruction around us. It is always difficult to undo our mistakes. The ice is melting. The weather is changing. The ozone layer is thinning. The corals are dying. Our genes are mutating. Soon everything will change.


Sunday, 17 August 2014

Will we live a hundred years?

I am not the type who thinks much of the future. The reason being, I savour my present. But the real reason is, I am not one of those who think that I would be living till more than 60. I am never a negative thinker. More of a realist. I believe that anything can happen anytime and anywhere. It can be a depressing thought at times, but that never stops me to make sure that today is always better than yesterday. But tomorrow, is an uncertainty to me. I'd rather do everything today than to wait for tomorrow coz it might never come. Impatient maybe. But never a procrastinator.

MH 17 never saw a missile coming. Palestinian kids at the playground never noticed enemies lurking. Death does not come with an invitation. Enemies do not advertise their strategies. Earthquakes do not have a warning. Tsunamis just sweep whatever is along the way. No option is ever given.

Friday, 15 August 2014

moms vs dads

People like to post emotional videos on Facebook regarding a mom's first birthday, what do their children think of their mommies, and those kinds that when you watch, you just can't sop tearing up, no matter how strong you are. These videos are always moving and emotional. The best part is, they are all true.

What mothers do are always seen as amazing. They seem strong on the outside, but deep down, they have the same fear that other mothers have. And when she is seen as perfect, she on the other hand feels very inadequate. Mothers always look at themselves as not given enough, or spent enough time, or played enough time with their children, but the children will always adore and think that their mothers are superwomen and the most beautiful of all. 

don't you just love your mothers?

So where do dads stand? They are seen as the fierce ones who hold the last say. They are potrayed as the ones who come home late, looking all tired after working the whole day trying to make ends meet. They are rarely at home so that they can be out there to make money for the family. Well, that is the picture that we usually get. Children usually go to their dads to ask for money and when the children ask for it, dads never say no. Dads are always there to play with their children at the playground, or to toss them up high till they just can't stop laughing. Dads are the serious ones, but they are the ones that make the children laugh out loud every time they play.

don't you just love your dads?