stop being racist and disrespectful

jiran aku cina dan india.
kawan aku cina dan india.
kawan sekerja aku cina dan india.
pesakit ku cina dan india.
boss aku cina dan india.
pekerja aku cina dan india.
aku beli barang daripada orang cina dan india.
aku dibantu oleh orang cina dan india.
aku membantu orang cina dan india.
aku orang melayu.
aku orang islam.

kenapa perlu mengutuk sesama kita dalam satu negara yang aman? kenapa perlu bersikap perkauman? kenapa perlu menyentuh sensitiviti agama dan kaum? kenapa tidak boleh menghormati agama dan kepercayaan satu sama lain? kenapa perlu berkata-kata kasar dan keji terhadap sesuatu agama yang lain daripada kita?

hebat sangatkah diri kita? hebat sangatkah?

aku cukup terkesan dengan kata-kata orang cina dan india yang sangat lantang mengutuk dan menghina agama dan bangsaku. aku cukup marah dengan bangsa ku yang begitu kasar mengutuk agama dan bangsa lain seolah-olah diri kita sangat hebat dan bagus.

yang paling tinggi di sisi Allah adalah yang paling taat perintahNya. hidayah itu milik Allah. jangan dijatuhkan hukuman pada mereka yang berbeza dari kita hanya kerana kita fikir syurga itu milik kita. belum pasti syurga buat kita jika ada riak dalam diri walau sebesar zarah. belum pasti syurga milik kita jika akhlak kita tidak seperti yang disarankan oleh Islam. belum pasti syurga buat kita jika kita terlalu menyombong dengan nikmat dunia yang sementara dan mengelirukan.

apa guna wang berjuta jika hari esok kita lumpuh kaki dan tangan? apa guna kereta yang mahal, rumah yang besar, duit yang banyak, jika esok kita kemalangan dan mati tanpa bertaubat. apa guna kekayaan sementara di dunia, jika selamnaya kita akan ke neraka jahanam. nauzubillah.

buangkan sifat sombong dalam hati. doakan yang terbaik buat mereka yang masih tidak faham. hidayah milik Allah.. fikir fikirkan lah.


aini ayu

joy stopper

nothing stops a smile or a laughter faster than the speed of light when news of death is heard. or even when one is reminded that death is lurking from anywhere at anytime. anyone would just freeze for a moment and stop smiling. anyone would stare blank for a second thinking of what if death is near.

why? because there is nothing more important and more certain than death. the world is full of temporary things. the world is full of lies and slander. it is full of transient beauty.

no one can cheat death. no one can escape from it. if God says be it, so be it. death is certain just as much as heaven and hell. what is there in this life that is more important and bigger than death?

work? exams? girlfriend problem? monetary issue? car being towed? you are stressed of work? or of exams? or of not having enough money for tomorrow?

think of death. then no worry will be that big a deal.

tipu daya dunia

hidup ini penuh dengan tipu daya. apa yang ditonjolkan, tidak bermakna itu lah hakikatnya. cantik di luar, tidak bermakna cantik di dalamnya. senyum di gambar, tidak bermakna gembira realitinya. cantik masakannya, tidak bermakna enak rasanya. cantik rumahnya, tidak bermakna bahagia keluarganya.

itulah hakikat dunia. jangan terlalu dikejarkan dunia yang sementara. kerana hati akan gundah gulana jika dunia ini dilihat seolah-olah tiada penghujungnya. seolah-olah mati itu jauh sekali. hati akan kacau jika sentiasa mengejar tipu daya dunia. kerana segalanya bersifat sementara. kekayaan, kepandaian, pangkat serta darjat. usah tertipu dengan tipu daya dunia. kerana siapa yang tertipu, maka hidupnya sangatlah rugi.

moga kita dijauhkan daripada tergolong dalam golongan yang rugi. moga esok kita kejar sesuatu yang lebih pasti.

insyaAllah.

latest slander

i love my country. i love the people. i love the fact that malaysians are smart. they get smarter everyday. to the extent that they become annoyingly foolish sometimes.

i am not quite sure if i should blame the dirty politics within the country. or the advancement in technology. or the greed for money. or the skewed objectives of politicians being leaders in the first place. is it their lust for money that drives them, or love for the country. so far, i have yet to see politicians without blooming businesses in the sideline.

it is upsetting seeing people not knowing what's true and what's not anymore. there is no more separation between the truth and slander. there is no more shame to commit crime in public. there is no more guilt in lying to the people. there is no more fear to be racist and unjust.

i don't care if you hate the government. or if you hate the leaders. or the politicians. or the oppositions. but do not drag those who have nothing to do with them with their dirty laundry. hate the president for all i care, but do not drag the police, or the judiciary or everyone else in your alleged exposé. one corrupt person does not mean the whole world is just as corrupt. 

well, just saying... just because you do not agree with the imprisonment of a sodomist, it doesn't mean that the witnesses, the doctors, the police, the chemist, the reporters, the lawyers and the judges have all been bought over. think before accusing. or you will be lower than low.

why are you so annoying?

why? whyy?? whhyyyy???

this word WHY can be a very annoying word. sometimes when we say something to someone, we just need him/her to absorb it and accept it as it is. and answer the question immediately. unfortunately, people are born to be naturally curious. and a bit nosy of course.

when a boss asks his worker  to do something, the word why? coming from his worker can be very unnecessarily irritating. 

or when a mother asks a teacher how her son is doing, having the teacher asks why? to the mother makes it really awkward. an initially a sincere question could eventually be seen as a gesture for not trusting the teacher. 

at times it is easier (and more convenient) to keep quiet and answer a question accordingly. stop saying why?? coz not everyone is against you or questioning your ability. 

we are getting crazier

people are getting crazier everyday.
and heartless.
they not only kill people, but they kill people in the hundreds
they not only dump babies, but they dump them in the drains, sewers and toilet bowls
they not only kill other beings, but they cut them into pieces and flush them away
they not only have mannequins, but they have child mannequins,
and then they walk around, talk and socialise like everyone else
no guilt, no fear, no what so ever

where is humanity..
what has gone wrong?
is it the wireless boarder less world?
is it the culture of taking pictures and spreading them like wildfire?
who is at fault?
parents? teachers? the government?

no where is safe anymore
no where is near to normal
everyone is getting sicker
and crazier

my mother is better than your mother

i am not sure what other mothers do for their children. but i do know that sometimes a mother does not need to cook, wash her children's clothes, send them and pick them up from school, bring them to the playground or even tie their hair to make her children love her more than anyone else in the world. a mother just needs to do one thing and one thing only i.e. hug her children when all they need is a hug, for her to be the perfect mother that nothing could be compared to.

i can't remember much what my mother did for me when i was a baby. or a toddler. but i am sure she did whatever i am doing for my sons now.

i worry for them whenever they are outside of the house
i miss them when they are out shopping with their aunties/uncles/grandparents
i worry if they stopped breathing when they are asleep
i fear that they might have fallen down and hit their head hard when i suddenly hear them cry
i cry just thinking of what could happen to them if i was not around
i cringe just imagining of all the possibilities
i pray that i would be more patient, more loving and more of everything
i constantly wish i could be a better mother than i am now

i have watched how many mothers cry thinking they have not been a good one, but they always cry more when their children tell them the truth. to children, the truth is that their own mother is the greatest, most patient, most hardworking and most beautiful mother of all. and they will never want anyone else filling in their mother's shoes.

happy mother's day to the perfect mother that i have always adored. i love you till my last breath.

the bucket list

thinking about death is good. it makes us feel humbled by the fact that God is the only one that stays. it keeps us grounded. well, to some people. it makes us realise how short life is and death can come anywhere and anytime.

some people cry when they think about death. some people can't wait to die. some people think that they are going to live a long and prosperous life. some people think that they are going to live forever. some people know when they are going to die. some people spend much of their life feeling angry and stressed. some people are too busy working and making money. some people spend much time thinking they are smarter, stronger and more powerful than others. some people love scolding and putting people down without thinking that it is sinful to hurt others even if they are less smart than them. some people forget that their position in society is not the same as where they stand in His eyes. some people think that they can bring their money to the grave. some people forget that they will eventually die and all their wealth will stay behind.

as for me, i have always thought that my life is going to be a short one. i always have and always will.  knowing that there is another life hereafter makes me feel that this world will never be enough.  i totally don't mind it. i used to think that making millions was everything. but not anymore. as long as i can live my life to the fullest without hurting others, i will be more than happy.

hence i have come up with a revised list of what to do before i die. =)

1) learn how to ride a motorbike

2) learn a new language

3) learn how to ride a horse

4) learn how to shoot the target using a handgun

5) learn to keep quiet when speaking hurts others more

6) to be a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, a good sister and a good friend

7) to keep loving my job till my last breath

8) to make sure that my family is financially well taken care of once i die

9) to enjoy nature more than what i used to

10) to bungee jump

11) to volunteer as much as i can

12) to be more patient with old people, annoying little children, idiots who think that they are smarter than the rest of the population

13) to forgive and be forgiven

14) to be closer to God every single day

InsyaAllah. wish me all the luck in the world. =)

doctors cry too

only doctors understand doctors.

the other day i was looking at this particular picture that went viral. it was a photo taken by a paramedic outside the emergency department and in the picture was a doctor who was crying. the story was that the doctor just lost his patient and he could not contain the sadness within him. hence he went outside to cry his lungs out so that no one could see him cry. unfortunately, the whole world saw it.

being human is easy. but being a doctor with a heart can sometimes be tough. at medical school, i was  literally taught not to cry in front of patients or their relatives. i was told that a doctor should not take away the grief of a patient's family by crying too. so they said.

but when a child dies and we are the ones who have to inform the parents of the heartbreaking news, we can't help but to shed a tear or two as well. witnessing the parents literally burst into tears while we stand there with a poker face, is not an easy task. we usually would leave them as quickly as we can to find the nearest empty room. not to go to sleep, but to cry in between the racks. once the tears have dried up, we wash our face and we get back to work as if nothing happened.

reading women's mind part 2

a woman always wishes to have the perfect husband/boyfriend.
a woman always hopes that her man is more understanding.
more helpful with the house chores.
more sensitive with her feelings.
more loving.
more successful.
more hardworking.
more and more of everything
and the list goes on and on..

when a woman wants something from her man, all she ever knows is that she has to have it.
there and then.
if it takes a while for it to happen, then she might not want it anymore.
(well, she will say she doesn't want it, but deep inside she wants it more than anything)
then if (after a while) the man tells her that he is giving her what she wants, she flips.
coz she does not want it anymore, remember?
so she says..

why does this happen?

coz women are complicated.
we want our men to want to do the dishes, not because they have to.

to come to think of it again, which man in his right man would WANT to do the dishes anyway?

apa itu bentan

Malays love to be blind followers. Most follow things blindly without thinking. They do not mind looking like fools as long as they can follow something that they think others follow as well.

Forget copy -pasting articles over the ineternet,on facebook and whatsapp. The most annoying thing that i find impossible to comprehend is the word 'bentan'. it is so illogical that there is no english translation and definitely no scientific explanation for it. But people still believe in it so religiously without even knowing what it actually means. Ask any man or woman out there.what the hell does bentan mean? And you will get a few minutes of silence. A few moments later, you will see them googling the meaning on their smart phones, trying very hard to explain something to others what they just learned from the internet. Simply annoying.

So don't be blind followers. Use our brains before uttering something that we ourselves do not understand. It makes us the true definition  of stupidity.

Remember, we get high fever because of bugs, virus or bacteria. Not because of playing in the rain..

building the present from the past

i used to be that girl who just knew how to enjoy life my own way. i used to be that girl who couldn't care less what others thought of me. i used to be that girl who couldn't be arsed to know what was the latest fashion at that time. i used to be that girl that loved to wear what i wanted to wear, do what i wanted to do, love what i wanted to love and enjoy what i wanted to enjoy. i broke a few hearts along the way, hurt some souls, made some happy, and some did not quite like my presence. but i just couldn't care less. yes, i was that kind of girl. not many people noticed my existence but those who did, i am sure most of them wished they had not met me in the first place.

now i feel slightly different inside me. not because i am happy with my present or because i am plain grateful with life. but it is because i am so satisfied with my present life that i will never change a thing what i did in the past. my past has shaped the person i am today. it has moulded me into this person that i hardly know at times. sometimes reality seems surreal.

now, everything matters more to me. no more not caring what others think. i become conscious of my appearance. i become aware of my surroundings. i become more concerned with making others happy. why? maybe this is what maturity is all about. or maybe this is what becoming a mother is all about. don't do unto others what i might not want others to do unto my children.. =)

reading women's mind

women are very simple people actually. not as complicated as what men usually think. but the problem is, it becomes complicated because when a woman wants something, she just wants that particular thing. and unfortunately she rarely says it out loud. if the man can't read her mind (which is usually the case), then that is when it becomes complicated.

a man can call his woman everyday from north pole for all she cares, but if she doesn't hear him say the words that she wants to hear, she won't appreciate much what he does. if a woman wants to hear her man say 'i love you' but he doesn't, and instead he gives her all the attention in the world, fill up her room with red roses and expensive chocolates, those things will still mean nothing till she hears the words she wants to hear.

and some women are just as strong and as simple as a man can be. if you don't say what she wants you to say, she won't say it first. if you don't do what she wants you to do, she won't do it first. if i want you to hug instead of kiss me and i do not get either, i don't care if you vomit blood before me. if compassion is all what women want and they don't get it, their hearts might turn to stone in no time. revengeful. but it is that simple.

well, it is indeed THAT simple with women. try read their mind. and.you.shall.always.fail. ;-)

power of an embrace

people are becoming more detached from anything that defines humanity. less time is spent to show love, compassion and care. there is less time allocated for family to bond. and less time for close friends to catch up and interact.

people are becoming extremely materialistic. time is spent for worldly affairs. those that matter before them become apparition overnight. we become blind of our own sight. we see things that only have value of dollars and cents.

stop for a moment and embrace the sounds of the surroundings. appreciate the deafening silence of the night. smile to strangers that cross your path everyday. hug those you love. enjoy the tight embrace of your spouse and feel the warmth that wraps your body. appreciate the peace that comes with it. enjoy it coz it might be the best thing that can ever happen to you.. just by a simple hug.

malaysians and spreading lies

the advancement of technology has its pros and cons. a world without boundaries comes with great drawbacks. people are free to spread lies, news, slander and information without limitation. a lot of people have been tarnished from their respectable image due to this so called thing we call internet. people easily spread super imposed pictures and fabricated information that have no reliable source. people become addicted to spreading lies. all they think about is wanting to be the first to convey that information to others. doesn't matter if it is right or wrong. they think they are smart if they spread interesting news that might get some sort of reaction from the general public. people are using less of their brain cells nowadays to filter knowledge and trash. people just want to be famous. for all the wrong reasons via the wrong way.

in Malaysia, it is such a common phenomenon to  associate everything with corruption, money laundering and to a particular political party that they think controls every individual in the country. if things don't go their way, then everyone else is corrupt. everything else is dirty.

and when they are not satisfied of something, they go on the internet to spread lies that are made up of their own hallucination and delusion. they use religious remarks to scare people when they themselves don't believe in God. they act as if they are holier that thou. they are the biggest culprits and if they deserve to be incarcerated, then prison is where they should rot till their last breath.

you think you have it bad?

when i thought i was strong, i saw stronger women cross my path. and when i thought i had a tough life, those with all kinds of misfortunes happening to them would come and rub them in my face (well, not literally..). and they are not necessarily older or more experienced than me.

one of them was a 20 yr old girl who has a 3 year-old son who suffers from cerebral palsy. she is this fine pretty young lady with a demeanour that is way too mature for a 20 year old. i get easily moved by these kind of people. knowing that she would have to forego her fun-time with friends or doing things that a normal 20 year old would do bug me at times. it is all because she has a responsibility that not everyone has on her plate. and it is no ordinary child, but one who is so special with his name already etched in heaven.

i wonder if i could be as strong as her if i had been in her shoes. would i pass the bucket to someone else? would i get a helper or a nurse to look after the child. would i be as patient and accepting? i don't know. i will never know.

i pray that she has all the strength that she needs to cater for the child till the day he dies.

life is a loan

i am not sure where i read this particular statement, but it got me into thinking more than usual. not thinking, but imagining the what ifs..

"appreciate your blessings, as they are on loan to you."

simple statement yet very powerful. disturbing in actual fact. disturbing because it is true.

life is short. every single thing that we own is not really ours.  they are all gifts and blessings from God and He can take them back anytime He wants. anytime. One moment we might have a beautiful family, with a loving spouse, beautiful children who adore us, a huge mansion that we call home, and a career that we love. but the next moment, our loved ones might leave us forever. we might lose that job we think was going to keep the food on our table. and that moment will come with no warning.
just like when a plane crashes or when tsunami strikes.

are we ready to face the loss of those we can't imagine living without? am i ready to see my blissful life dissipate before me.. the answer is always no. but who are we to say no?

life is a loan. savour it while we still can.

bored

So what do you do when you are bored?

Apart from sleeping it off, i start calling everyone in my phonebook.

One thing i notice, whenever we need talk to people badly, that is not necessarily the case for everyone else.

Most of the time, people are either in a meeting, or driving. Or still busy working. And there i am bored on the couch. :D

first day at school

Today is the first day of school for 2015.

I remember my first Day at school when i was 7. i  was scared, anxious, scared and very scared. I have never been a brave girl within me, but one thing for sure, i do look like one superficially. at least thats what people have been telling me.

Anyway, today we see what parents would do for their children. Some wait outside their classroom till it ends. Some hide behind the wall to ensure that no one is bullying their children. Some argue with the teachers to ensure that their children get to sit at the front row. Some just couldn't be bothered.

The first time for a parent to see his or her children's lives change is an opportunity that no parent would want to miss.

My dad cancelled all his appointments at work when i gave birth. Mind you, i was 25 years old. Not the scared lonely 7 year old i once was. But he still wanted to be there to witness the most important event of my life.

I wonder if i would ever let myself miss my children's first day at school, or first time to ride a bike, or first newborn. Coz as far as i can remember, my parents never missed any important event of mine.
and for that matter, i think no parent should.

respect each other

In my religion, we have been reminded to respect each other. Not only should we respect our parents, or the elderly, but we should also respect others with different faith and religion. We were reminded a few times not to ridicule other religion as their believers could do the same to us. Let whatever their religion be theirs, and our religion be ours.

Unfortunately there will always be people who prefer to make fun of other people and play with sensitive issues without thinking of the consequences of their words and actions.
So recently the world was shocked by the massacre in paris on cartoonists. It all started from these cartoonists ridiculing Islam. Yes, nothing can justify the massacre, but no one should ridicule another religion in the first place. If only everyone is more tolerant and sensitive towards other people's belief, surely there will be more peace than violence in this world. One can just hope.