Government hospitals and those who seek for treatment there

There are two types of medical services in Malaysia. The heavily subsidised government hospitals and clinics, and the business oriented hospitals and clinics. At the latter, you may go if you want an en suite room or better food. Not necessarily better treatment.

Having worked with the government, i am a strong advocate for government hospitals. I still believe in their decision making accuracy and skills. The specialists at government hospitals are better, provided they have been specialists for more than 5 years or have been in the service for more than 10 years. Better if they have subspecialised and are consultants. Yes it will take 2 months for a non-urgent MRI appointment, but looking at the long queue, that's the best that they could afford. After all, you have been living with an on and off back ache for 10 years, what's an extra 2 months can cause you. But if you need an MRI the same day, by all means get it done in a private hospital.

So you can imagine how it is like in a government hospital. People pay RM 1, some don't even need to pay anything. And then you go in for a 10 000 dollar operation for free. You get seen by specialists at least twice a day. And before you leave, you get a bag full of expensive medicine ranging from antibiotics to pain killers. Everything for absolutely free or heavily subsidised by the government.

Then you get home and complain how annoying it is to have your bloods taken by a fresh graduate doctor who was there to learn and might have pricked you twice just to get things right. Little that you know, you have contributed so much in providing this innocent doctor the platform to become a great specialist in the future.

Do not be too quick to complain against young doctors that might make some silly mistakes along the way. Unless the mistakes are life threatening, then may be you can drop your comments. But do it professionally and as humanely as possible. Do not complain to demean or defame these young doctors who are there to learn as much as they can. After all, every great doctor comes from a humble start.

Above all, don't forget those that look after you during your stay in the hospital, those specialists who operated on you for hours, and those who have paid tax for your life to get fixed for free.

If you still can't be grateful of all that, try the private hospital the next time you fall sick or you break your bone. See if that makes you any happier.

Traditional healers vs frauds = khurafat

In my culture, people still believe in traditional healers. Most traditional healers in this country consist of frauds. A lot of them are and have been prosecuted for money laundering, cheating, molest and rape. They are sick people who make others believe that they are genuinely sick and that they have just the cure for it. And they make people pay a fortune for the cure.

Come back a few days later, problem still persists. Cancer is still there.

But money has disappeared.

It is unfortunate that despite all the prosecutions and stories on the news, ignorant people still believe in them so strongly that they sideline the one and only most powerful of all. God. When one has a problem or an illness, the best one could do is to believe that God is enough. Of course, one has to put an effort in finding the best, valid and safest treatment and solution available. God willing, the problem will solve. And the illness will pass.

Stop believing that a black string tied around the wrist will cause a baby to stop crying, or getting the viral flu. It is utterly absurd.

Cerita aku (3)

Cerita aku (3)

Hendak dipendekkan cerita, aku berjaya juga tiba di hospital. Kuat juga kudratku. Ku gagahkan langkah ke dalam bilik dan kemudian ke atas katil. Jururawat tenang sahaja.  Sudah biasa agaknya melihat orang dalam kesakitan. Kelihatan seperti ingin membantu, tapi usahanya seperti tidak ikhlas langsung. Ikutkan hati, hendak sahaja aku tolak misi ke tepi. Tepi kau!!! (Well, i wish i had said that). Sabar Lana, sabar..

Tekanan darah dan perutku diperiksa oleh misi. "Misi, mana doktor ni..?" tanyaku dengan nada tidak sabar sambil menahan sakit.

"Saya sudah telefon doktor. Dia dalam perjalanan. Bila sakit, puan sedut gas ni dalam-dalam ya," sambil memberi aku sejenis tiub yang bersambung ke dinding. Setelah itu, dia terus keluar dari bilik. Takut kena marah agaknya. Aku cuba menyedut, tapi terasa seperti lebih menyusahkan hidup. Ku letak gas ke tepi.

Jam di dinding sudah pukul 6. "Mana doktor ni...,". Aku hanya mampu mengeluh menunggu ketibaan doktor yang tak kunjung tiba. Sakit perut makin memulas-mulas. Kini pinggangku sudah mula sakit. Sakitnya bagaikan ingin cirit-birit yang teramat sangat, tetapi terpaksa ku tahan untuk mengelakkan masalah yang lebih besar. Pinggangku pula bagaikan ingin tercabut dari badan. I need to get over this quickly.

Lutfi kelihatan helpless. Apa sahaja yang dilakukan pasti aku akan marah. Dia cuba mengurut belakangku, tapi tangannya ku tepis apabila sakit datang semula. Apabila dia tidak mengurut, pasti aku akan merengek untuk diurut. Tersenyum aku tatkala teringat balik saat ini. Tuhan sahaja yang
tahu betapa aku sayang pada suamiku ini.


 
                                                             ************


"Mana doktor ni...", kesabaran aku sudah tidak dapat dibendung lagi. DUA jam sudah berlalu. Hari pun sudah terang. Tepat jam 8 pagi, doktor ku masuk dengan memberi salam.

Sampai juga dia ni... Teruk sangat ke traffic jam di luar tu.. Ingin sahaja ku hamburkan kata-kata sinis ini.

"Ok Puan Lana, saya akan periksa jalan ya. Oh, sudah 8 cm! Saya beri dalam tiga jam, insyaAllah baby akan lahir,"


"TIGA JAM??" Oh aku tidak sanggup lagi tunggu lama-lama. Belum sempat doktor keluar dari bilik, aku teran sekuat hati sehingga pecah air ketubanku. Aku SUDAH bersedia untuk bersalin. Tolong jangan biarkan aku SAKIT lebih lama.

Doktor terpaksa memeriksa semula dan bukaan jalan sudah 10cm. Alhamdulillah, aku boleh memulakan proses melahirkan anakku. Kakiku kedua-dua belah diangkat ke atas umtuk memudahkan proses bersalin. Hatiku sungguh takut ketika itu. Adakah sakitnya benar-benar seperti bersabung nyawa? Adakah aku akan dapat lihat anakku? Adakah aku akan pergi menyahut panggilanNya? Adakah aku mampu melakukan ini semua? Tuhan Maha Mengetahui.

Mungkin aku bernasib baik. Tidak sampai lima minit, kedengaran suara tangisan anakku memecah keheningan pagi. Tuhan sahaja yang tahu betapa lega dan bersyukurnya hatiku ketika
itu. Sakit hilang serta merta. Aku tidak ingat lagi bagaimana kesakitan itu. Aku seolah-olah lupa apa yang baru sahaja berlaku. Aku tidak mampu berkata apa-apa. Suaraku tidak keluar. Aku terlalu penat untuk berbuat apa-apa.

Aku memandang ke dinding. Terasa bagai tenagaku disedut kesemuanya oleh proses yang perit tapi indah ini. Ku peluk insan kecil itu dan tidak mahu kulepaskan walau sesaatpun. Rentak jantungnya ku rasakan pada dadaku. Jauh di sudut hati, aku berdoa agar dia akan mahu memelukku seperti mana aku tidak mahu melepaskan dakapanku padanya. Air mataku tidak dapat kusekat. Aku tidak malu pada orang di sekelilingku. Lutfi bergenang menahan air matanya. Mama dan Papa sayang Armaan.. Itulah nama buat mu sayang..

Bersambung....

Strong parents vs crying babies

80% of the time, parents bring their sick children to see doctors for assurance. They just want to hear those words; don't worry, it is just the flu. It will pass.

But 80% of those parents refuse to believe those remarks. Why? Cause caring for a sick child is the most challenging job in the history of mankind.

A child's ailment is just a test of how strong parents are. Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

And I AM a strong person. So I thought.

The first time my son had fever, I cried with him. The thought of the worst possibility played in my mind like a broken record. Although I knew exactly what was wrong with him, it felt like there was something bad that was going to happen anytime. It was just a cold. A normal benign cold. But he could not stop crying and that made me extremely helpless. Nothing i did was alleviating his misery. The way i handled him caused him to cry. Not doing anything made him cry even louder. I was at a point of crumbling from NOT knowing what to do.

Guess I am not that strong anyway..

The forgotten past

It amazes me everytime I look back and reminisce my younger impressionable years. I was not exactly the most popular girl in school, but I was in fact, well known (not trying to brag or anything you see). I was popular Not for my looks, not for my talent(if i actually had any!),  and definitely not for my brains. I always had two extremes of the world with me or against me. It was either you hate me or you love me. I was known more for my courage to stand against all odds. I spoke my mind out without thinking twice.

 My enemies hated my gut. 

My friends loved me just the way I was.

It was constantly a struggle to survive the emotional roller coster in high school. I might have looked calm, collected and strong, but mind you, I did have my moments of falling in deep s**t. I grew to hate that part of my life that subconsciously, my brain is erasing certain spots of the memory that make my heart ache just thinking about it. Call me absent minded, but I am starting to believe in suppressed memories. 

The good thing about it, I don't even remember much of the hurt that was caused to me and the s**t thrown at my face. But, it is also at the expense of remembering the close friends whom I once had great time with. 

Sometimes, this makes me lonely.

Cerita aku (2)

Cerita aku (2)


Senyap sunyi pagi. Terasa aman buat seketika. Tubuhku diulit kedinginan pagi. Hilang sejenak rasa sakitku.

Ahh.. Spoke too soon. Aku hanya mampu memeluk tubuhku sepanjang perjalanan. Lutfi kelihatan takut untuk bersuara. Tangan kirinya tidak lepas menggenggam tangan kananku. Tangan kanan pula sibuk memandu.

Aku hanya mahu ke hospital secepat yang mungkin. Setiap minit yang berlalu terasa terlalu lama. Jam masih berdetik. Nyawaku seperti sampai di sini sahaja. Tapi aku masih belum bersedia untuk berhenti. Aku masih mahu meneruskan perjuangan dalam hidup ini walau singkat mana nyawaku. Aku belum bersedia untuk menyerah kalah. Tidak sekali.

                                                                **********

Tujuh tahun dulu, aku dan Lutfi hangat bercinta. Sewaktu bersama, terasa masa berhenti seketika untuk melihat kami bergelak tawa. Bila bergembira, seperti tiada esok bagiku. Di universiti, kami memang sentiasa bersama. Sukar untuk lihat salah seorang sahaja. Kami ibarat belangkas. Lana dan Lutfi. Memang sentiasa berdua. Jika tiada Lutfi, aku mudah terasa kosong. Jadualku, memang padat dengan aktiviti bersama lelaki ini yang cukup sempurna buatku. Yeah, he is not perfect. But he is perfect for me. Aku pasti tersenyum tiap kali ku ungkapkan kata-kata ini. Poyo, tapi cukup benar buatku.

Kini, dia suamiku. Sudah tiga tahun kita berumah tangga, namun Lutfi tetap lelaki sama yang aku fell in love with. 

Ramai orang gemar menakut-nakutkan aku.

"Lana, nanti dah kahwin, semuanya akan berubah. Percaya lah cakap aku,".

"Alah, seronok untuk dua tiga minggu pertama sahaja, nanti korang tak sabar untuk jadi single balik,"

"Sekarang ni orang kahwin grand, tapi tak lama nanti cerai lepas 6 bulan.."

Macam-macam kata orang. Jujurnya, I don't know where all these came from. Kadang-kadang aku tertanya-tanya mengapa orang boleh berkata seperti ini. Mungkin mereka ada cerita hidup mereka yang aku tidak tahu. Honestly, I never want to know their side of story. Mesti depressing! Apa-apapun, doakanlah yang terbaik untukku...

"Aduhhhh..sakit bertambah kuat nih.. lambat lagi ke nak sampai ke hospital?" Aku makin hilang sabar.

"Sikit lagi sayang. Sabar ye..". Makin kuat genggaman tangan Lutfi. Seolah-olah itu akan mengurangkan sakitku. Hah. Banyak pula lampu merah. Yang mana tiada kereta, Lutfi langgarkan sahaja. Janganlah kena tahan polis waktu-waktu begini..


Bersambung..

Cerita aku

Cerita aku..


"Aduh sakitnya perutku..". Aku merintih dalam gelap. Ingin sahaja aku kejutkan Lutfi di sebelah, tapi aku bisikkan sahaja rintihan ku. Mungkin tiada apa-apa yang merisaukan. Tangan kanan ku cuba capaikan telefon bimbit kesayanganku. 4:05 am. Baru 4:05 pagi?? Aduh, sakitnya. Memulas-mulas perutku. Setelah 2 minit merintih, aku gagahkan juga kaki ke tandas. Satu perkara yang cukup ku benci; berjalan ke tandas dalam gelap. Ish malasnya..

Rupa-rupanya hanya cirit birit. Haha. Mungkin aku sudah salah makan. Keracunan makanan mungkin? Apa-apalah.

Dua minit kemudian, rasa memulas itu datang semua. Lebih kuat dan lebih lama. "Tak boleh jadi ni..". Aku ke tandas semula. Kali ini aku tidak teragak-agak untuk berlari-lari anak.

Setelah lima minit, aku masuk ke kamar dan baring semula. Rasanya seperti lima jam di dalam tandas. Cukup-cukuplah untuk kali ini. Aku tidak sanggup kehilangan air dalam badan lagi. Habis tenaga ku nanti.

Sakit perutku makin kuat. Sakit untuk 30 saat dan kemudian hilang untuk 2-3 minit. Tapi setiap kali sakit itu datang, tidak senang duduk aku dibuatnya.

"Aduhhhh!" Tidak ku sedar, terkuat pula volume suara ku. Lutfi di sebelah terus terjaga.

"Kenapa sayang?" Tanya Lutfi dengan suara yang risau. Walaupun risau, masih kedengaran juga suara ngantuknya. Adorable. Tapi aku masih dalam kesakitan.

Sedar tak sedar, jam sudah menunjukkan pukul 5 pagi. Aku sudah menahan kesakitan yang amat dahsyat itu selama hampir satu jam. Mungkin inilah sakitnya yang akan membawa perubahan dalam hidupku selagi ku masih hidup. Mungkin inilah sakitnya yang akan membuatku menangis kegembiraan. Mungkin inilah sakitnya yang akan membuatku tersenyum seorang. Mungkin inilah sakitnya yang akan memberhentikan nafasku. Mungkin inilah sakitnya yang ku tunggu-tunggu selama ini.

"Sayang, mari ke hospital. Tak lama lagi ni....," kataku dengan suara yang hampir tak dapat didengari. Air mata ku mula membasahi pipi. Aku tidak sedih, aku tidak takut. Tapi air mata memang tidak mampu ku bendung.

Lutfi anggukkan sahaja sambil menukar pakaiannya secepat yang boleh.

"Selawat sayang. InsyaAllah semuanya akan selamat,". Bergetar suara Lutfi menenangkan aku. Aku diam sahaja. Tiada lagi ayat untuk dituturkan. Tuhan sahaja yang tahu sakitnya aku ketika ini.


Bersambung....

Parents vs children

Parents are two people that matter a lot to most people. They tell their children to do things that they themselves don't do.

Parents are usually self conceited. They feel that they are better than other parents. They feel that no other parent can be half as good as them. They always feel the urge to advice other parents to do the right thing. They always feel compelled to tell other parents the right way to raise their children.

Parents always think that they know their children very well. Parents always believe that their child will always be the little toddler who runs around their backyard and never grows up. Even when their children grow up and become parents, parents still think that they know better. Parents will always assume that they know and understand the world better than their children do. They will always think that they know what their children are going through but they always get suprised when they realise that their children have a problem that they are not aware of.

What parents don't know is that every single child of theirs has his or her own problem. And children don't necessarily share everything with their parents. No matter how close they are.

However strong a daughter or a son is, whenever a parent says or does something hurtful, the child will always remember that moment.

Children try hard not to be like their parents but most of the time they become exactly like them. Unless they really really really hate their parents.

Parents believe that they are better than their children. Children will always try to prove that they can be better.

And the cycle never stops.

pet vs child

If you have a cat, you will be very happy if the cat you look after very well comes running to you when it sees you come back home. (We all know how difficult it is for a cat to be loyal. So when it happens, you will feel like the luckiest person on earth)

If you have a dog, nothing beats the loyalty that it gives you. However far it goes, it surely comes back running to you. The feeling is unbeatable to own a company like one.

When your favourite pet makes you happy, imagine if you have a child of your own. Imagine how amazing it feels to see your baby grow and get smarter everyday. I never understood it till i had one of my own.

I thank God for such blessing that not everyone understands.

Trying to look clever vs actually clever

Half a knowledge is not just dangerous. It can be catastrophic.

I have seen people who know very little but act like they know so much.
It gets worse when they make other people believe them.
The number of fools then increase exponentially.

Tragic.

When all they do is argue and question findings that are evidence-based (but are too lazy to read the literature), they will eventually expose their ignorance to others.

Remember, empty cans make the most noise.

Think before you act

The brain is like a powerful machine. If it is used, it can produce wonders. But if it is not used, it collects dust, gets rusty and might stop functioning altogether till it gets serviced some day (it could be years before one realises the need for servicing).

Don't let the brain become of no use when it can solve a simple equation (that turned hiroshima into dust) or make a man the wealthiest person in the universe.

It all comes from using the brain. Don't waste something that comes for free.

Parents' pride

Parents get easily proud of their children. Their pride sometimes encompasses the notion that they have the best, the smartest, the cutest and even the most talented children in the world.

Most of the time it is not true to most people.

But who cares. Being proud parents is an ecstasy that not every Tom, Dick and Harry can understand.

Women vs men

When a man says to leave him alone, it literally means 'leave him alone'.

When a woman says leave her alone (to the man she loves), it means that 'if you are man enough to come and pacify me, i'll love you even more..'

Tricky. But it is not a secret.

Scar that hurts even when it is healed

When the person that matters most to you decides to go against you and crush you, all you could do is crumble..
To rise again takes time.
Coz the scar that remains in your heart will be there to remind you time and time again that you have been hurt..
So what do you do?
You brave the odds and trudge on. You let time pass.
One day when you try to recall the past, you will realise that some clips have been erased from your memory box. You won't even remember how it all started.
That, is the power of time.