yes, we know you are lonely sebenarnya..

Dah banyak kali orang cakap siapa selalu upload gambar di instagram ada masalah mental. Tapi berapa ramai yang akan benar-benar percaya dan cuba reflect balik statement tu pada diri sendiri jika terkena? Tak ramai. Coz rata-rata orang always in denial. And always care more what other people think than addressing the issue of their alleged mental disorder.

Again, petang tadi masa tengah minum-minum dengan BFFs, one of my friends mentioned yang siapa selau update instagram cepat2 ni sebenarnya kurang kasih sayang. Well, it is not fair to generalise, tapi memang saya berani kata tanpa prejudice yang memang ramai orang yang selalu update instagram ni memang in fact 'attention deficit'. Yes, bile update kat instagram semua orang akan puji and 'LIKE', tapi the main person yang you are trying to  get the attention from, you masih tak dapat-dapat. Kenapa? sebab kebiasaannya orang yang tak bagi attention tu takde instagram/tak bukak instagram/couldn't be bothered to read between the lines. They are usually the boring husbands, the busy wives who try to look good on instagram, the comfortable boyfriends, or whoever lah yang diorg try to get attention from.

I did try to reflect on myself jugak sebenarnya. Bile saya tengah happy gile and cuti2 dengan keluarga dengan bahagianya, saya jarang la nak upload gambar2 bahagia tu. Tapi, bile tengah busy dengan studies and kerja and sedar tiba2 anak2 pun tak nak sangat dah kat kita and prefer the maid to us, baru lah terhegeh2 nak upload gambar di instagram or fb. kenapa perlu social media? i guess it is a defensive mechanism. People nowadays kan terlalu sibuk dengan apa orang fikir pasal kita sampai kita ingatkan kalau tak upload gambar maknanya nanti orang akan ingat kita tak happy/tak bahagia/tak happening. and damn we are so affected by that kan?

yup.. that's a mental disorder.

Cukup2 lah dengan throwing your happiness yang tak kesampaian tu on social media kalau niat tu memang nak mencari kasih sayang dari someone else. coz if that is the reason, direct je and ckp "hey, please surprise me with some flowers or chocolates or romantic holiday. i am getting bored with usual routine..''. and kalau memang rasa left behind, start socialising. Kalau rasa anak tu tak nak kat kita, start playing with them sampai lebam.

So, memang there is a truth behind frequent instagrammers or face bookers who consistently try to get attention from others, that actually deep in their heart, ada satu attention tu yang tak dapat2.... sedih lah. I wish everyone can be happy in their own little unit without having any defensive reflexes. I wish I could stop thinking about what others think about me. I wish people could put their phones aside. I wish we were not easily affected by the fake happiness on social media. coz seriously, they are not as happy/pretty/contented as what you think.. you could be better off.

Me and my big mouth

I know our mouth can send us to hell. so i would rather zip it up sometimes. but if i kept it inside of me too long, my patience would get past the boiling point. at that time i could explode. and i would say worse things that i would have uttered in the first place. i would hurt the soul that i love most and double the injury that it would have received initially. Then i would feel more guilty and more upset.

guess saying things out loud is not so bad afterall..

But then.. i could go to hell..

Aih..

Death

Death is unavoidable. We are all mortals. We will all die anytime, anywhere and anyway. It is petrifying to think of the afterlife. It is scary to think that we might not yet be ready to die. It saddens us to see our loved ones die. Or someone so great that we look up to dies. It gives a sudden feeling of emptiness. But when we think that heaven is waiting for him or her, then it gives us calmness. Unexplainable calmness. Even if we do not know him or her in person. But we know that they have filled their time with great things and great deeds. What about us? We are still busy collecting sins from our eyes, ears, mouth and heart. We are still wasting our time with worldly affairs. We are not ready to die, but we are not doing anything to prepare ourselves. May God guide us and our family in the right path.

Innalillah hiwainna ilaihirrajiun buat Tok Guru Harun Din. You were a great man and great things await you InsyaAllah.