building the present from the past

i used to be that girl who just knew how to enjoy life my own way. i used to be that girl who couldn't care less what others thought of me. i used to be that girl who couldn't be arsed to know what was the latest fashion at that time. i used to be that girl that loved to wear what i wanted to wear, do what i wanted to do, love what i wanted to love and enjoy what i wanted to enjoy. i broke a few hearts along the way, hurt some souls, made some happy, and some did not quite like my presence. but i just couldn't care less. yes, i was that kind of girl. not many people noticed my existence but those who did, i am sure most of them wished they had not met me in the first place.

now i feel slightly different inside me. not because i am happy with my present or because i am plain grateful with life. but it is because i am so satisfied with my present life that i will never change a thing what i did in the past. my past has shaped the person i am today. it has moulded me into this person that i hardly know at times. sometimes reality seems surreal.

now, everything matters more to me. no more not caring what others think. i become conscious of my appearance. i become aware of my surroundings. i become more concerned with making others happy. why? maybe this is what maturity is all about. or maybe this is what becoming a mother is all about. don't do unto others what i might not want others to do unto my children.. =)